IT'S DATE NIGHT IN THE HAMPTONS... AND LOCATION MEANS EVERYTHING!!!

So many of my friends...mostly gay men and women ask me for my impressions on various restaurants and what they mean in the dating sense. Like in the city a friend of mine would call and say, "I'm going on a date tonight... we're going to Per Se." I would usually respond to that with "awesome... you got a winner or you found a winner and you're willing to spend some bucks." So, in the Hamptons what does it tell you when the person picks the restaurant. TONS! If you read below I'll answer all your questions. Now remember, this guide and glossary is only good if you've been asked to one of these establishments. It's also a good guide to picking the right location for someone who is truly special.




Restaurant: Nick and Toni's , The Palm or the American Hotel.



What does it say: If it's on a Friday or Saturday night.. it means they have connections. They're also not short on cash and willing to go head to head with some of the biggest attitudes in the Hamptons. If they order the zucchini chips (at N&T) or onion rings (Palm) they're daring... not afraid of calories because they'll be at the gym in the morning. It also says, they really know the menu. If one of the hostesses or maitre d's say "hello," you know they're doing well because they obviously slipped one of them a few buck$ for Christmas. They deserve a least a second date or to go a few bases. If you're date is on a Sunday or prixe-fixe night, it's up to your discretion.

Underlying issues: My advice would be to avoid any topics or conversations dealing with the following: ex-wives, alimony or investing with Bernie Madoff.



Restaurant: Matto


What does it say: Chances are your date is a summer renter here in the Hamptons. They're still new to the scene so if you're waiting for that invitation to Jerry Seinfeld's residence forget it. If this is a first date, finish the evening and change your cell number. You can do better.

Underlying issues: Avoid topics relating to home ownership in the Hamptons, real estate, St. Barth's at Christmas and flying coach versus first class.

Restaurant: 1770 House

What does it say: Your date obviously knows some of the hidden treasures of the Hamptons. It also says, they're willing to go to a quiet place and they're not afraid to hold a conversation with you. They're smart and into the finer things in life. Confident and not afraid to spend a little extra for something special. Now, I want to be clear we're talking about the upstairs restaurant here... if you end up in the downstairs pub it only says one thing to me; THEY'RE MARRIED!


Underlying issues: If your upstairs you can pretty much discuss anything, they obviously are open and willing to talk. If your DOWNSTAIRS avoid discussing wives, mistresses, explaining difficult things to children and commuting to the city from Nassau County.


Restaurant: Almond

What does it say: If it's Friday night and he's taking you to Almond, he's gay! If you already knew he was gay... then just enjoy he probably knows a lot of people.



Underlying issues: If it's Saturday, I'm not quite sure what to do but I think you've done ok. If it's Friday and your on a hetero date... avoid topics like musicals, football and closets. It will only make you both uncomfortable.

My last note today and probably the most obvious!

Restaurant: Cyril's

What does it say: People go to Cyril's for one reason to drink. Odds are your date just got out of rehab or is probably fresh from the daily Montauk AA meeting. I would also be suspect of everyone your date just said hello to, odds are they're tomorrow's date! If you drove separately (hopefully you did) pretend to get a text message and leave immediately to deal with a "personal issue."

Underlying issues: Avoid such topics as binge drinking, rehab, STD's, sobriety or monogamy!


If today's blog offends anyone.. I apologize, it was written with a strong sense of humor. But remember, there's a little bit of truth in every jest!

WEEKEND UPDATE... Thank goodness he's Chevy Chase and I'm not!!! And please don't quote "Man in the Mirror!" -MJ deserves better!

Well, what to do this weekend in the Hamptons on another weekend full of fun and lack of sun!! Oh I'm hoping I'm wrong!! We need some sun!! Other than watching CNN's wall to wall coverage on Michael Jackson (oh poor Farrah) or waiting for the excitement of Bernie Madoff's sentencing on Monday there are other options.

Well first off Matto in East Hampton is doing a post beach happy hour for the boys and girls from the lambda set! They've even gathered a few buff shirtless 20 somethings to parade around hoping to draw a crowd. I just love the idea of my friend Dan's uncle driving by with his 71 Ford pickup truck stopping in front of the IGA and wondering WTF is going on. Good times!!!

For a slightly more subdued time.... there is still the happy hour at the Lodge on Race Lane from 6-9pm. The crowd keeps growing . I'm totally curious what the crowd will be like if we finally have a Saturday night that doesn't rain!! I guess the crowd will disperse a bit and stop cat fighting and positioning for real estate under an umbrella.

Saturday night is also the night for the first "Live out Loud" pride in the Hamptons party. Featuring cocktails, Hors d'oeuvres and dancing. .The evening to benefit LIVE OUT LOUD, a Non-Profit organization dedicated to inspiring and empowering LGBT youth by connecting them with successful LGBT professionals in their Community. 6-8:30 on Saturday afternoon... for information on tickets, go to the website http://www.liveoutloud.info/hamptons_2009.html

Ooops... Kelsey Grammer isn't gay.. at least not that I know... his picture is related to the story below!!

The retreat also holds it's annual fundraiser "Artists against Abuse." The benefit will be held at The Ross School 18 Goodfriend Drive in East Hampton. The evening will feature cocktails, dancing and silent auction. Frasier Crane a.k.a. Kelsey Grammer will be the host of this years event along with Fox News' entertainment reporter Bill McCuddy. For details on tickets and the top secret after party go to http://www.theretreatinc.org/ for details.

Doggone it!!! I'll soon let you know if piping plover really do taste like chicken!!!

While walking along the beach with my beloved dog Boo, I discoverd the following sign on what I long believed to be one of the friendliest dog beaches around!! NO DOGS! So, what's up with this? Well it's due to none other than the wonderful piping plover of lore!! Apparently they've chosen to nest on the beach between Indian Wells and Two Mile Hollow. Let me be honest, one of the only reasons I agreed to move and buy a house here is because I love to take Boo for long walks on the beach. This has now gone too far and I understand the frustration of when they cancelled the fireworks because of the birds! Did they have to fence off the whole beach?! Well just know Boo and I will still continue to stroll the beach but on the surf line. There are no signs and no fences there!! But have no fear.. not all of the Hamptons are unfriendly to man's best buddy!

My favorite numero uno place for pooches in the Hamptons is the Hampton Pet Club in Water Mill. Owner Jason Neimark and his entire staff will treat your pet like one of their own. The pet club offers dooggy day care, boarding and training sessions . The accomidations are wonderful, many of the dogs get their own "rooms" complete with beds and televisions... no cages here!! The doggy daycare is awesome, Jason regularly goes out and throws some toys around with the kids and they get some good runnning in. The dog yard does have it's draw backs though.... the POLITICS!!! Apparently dog clicks are no different than your high school. I'm disheartened though to say, my beloved girl gets along with everyone but she instead chooses to hang in the office with the staff, like one of those geeky kids who sharpened pencils and filed in the Principals office all day! MY DOG IS A GEEK! OH NO!!!

Finally, for food , toys and the occasional grooming.... go see Harbor Pets in Sag Harbor on Bay St. They've got the goodstuff there for your four legged companions both canine and feline. Merricks, EVO , Wellness and Science Diet are all available. The owner Alan (oops. don't know your last name) and his staff are friendly and helpful. They also have grooming services available by appointment. If you go in and tell them you read this blog...he'll even give you a FREE GIFT! SERIOUSLY! By the way... I had to put a picture of Boo in my blog!! HERE IT IS!!

What's with the attitutde!!!???

The Hamptons are getting some bad press lately and personally I find this shocking!!! One would have thought with the lousy weather and that in turn causing a lousy turnout on top of everything else in the world.. one would think we would have a season with better food, better service and a better attitude in Hampton's restaurants. Well guess what!? You were wrong.

Gawker has made it a sport for attacking Hamptons attitude and the first target they assassinated was "Georgica!" Watch the video!!
http://gawker.com/5299198/the-hamptons-still-sucking

Then there's the "Blue Parrot" owned by the trio of Perlman, Zellweggerrere (whatever) and Bon Jovi. Yes, they're finally open but I haven't had a chance to go yet. I heard the food is pretty good but the portions are tiny. But have no fear, the margaritas are here... and from what I hear they're strong. The only odd thing I find about all of this is... THEY HAVE A BOUNCER! How come they didn't have bouncers at the Chi-Chi's I used to frequent in college! Well it wasn't in the Hamptons for one! I promise I'll go in the next few days to the "Parrot" and let you know if it's everything I hear. If they let me in!

ONE LAST THOUGHT... Why is HBO playing "FRED CLAUS" in the middle of June?!?

SUNRISE... sunset... SUNRISE... sunset. Tevye's Turmoil!!!

NO! Today's blog has nothing to do with Fiddler on the Roof! Although good trivia... did you know Paul Michael Glazer was in the movie?!? Seriously! Starsky! So the Hamptons are a summer place... right? So what better than dinning on the water and watching a fiery sun set in the distance. In my book there are only 3... ok 4 great places to go watch the sun set.

The following are my top 4 in no particular order:

The Beacon in Sag Harbor. Owner David Lowenberg and his crew run one of the most consistently great seasonal restaurants on the east end. The crowd is Hamptons chic and there's usually a celebrity or two there when you dine... Richard Gere is my most notable. Try the seared tuna it's fresh and tender. My other favorite is the iceberg lettuce wedge with blue cheese , a gourmet flashback to 1970. They don't take reservations so get there early and put your name on the list. The photo to the left was taken last night! WHAT NO RAIN!!!?

NEXT... drum roll...is East Hampton Point. The menu is limited and the food is probably a C+... prices are steep but the view is spectacular. Overlooking Three Mile Harbor it's ideal on a late Sunday afternoon to hang for cocktails and enjoy some live reggae music!!! The service is slow but hey "don't worry mon.. enjoy the music!!" What I typically do is go early for drinks and then head over to ......

Bostwicks - 423 Three Mile Harbor. I grew up in Joisy and this is the closest thing I can find to one of those fancy Atlantic City type restaurants! HA!. It's a cool mix of local and weekenders at Bostwicks. The food isn't priced like it's Joisy joint but the menu is diverse and solid. Try the Lobster... The Surf and Turf... or any of the fish or huge lobsters. Once again.. NO RESERVATIONS. Send a friend a few minutes early to put the name on the list and have a drink and relax. Here's a pic of the view. I'd pay extra for that wouldn't you!!? Yes, I took the picture myself!!!

Finally, Sunset Beach on Shelter Island. 35 Shore Rd. , Shelter Island. It has to be about the view because let's face it the service is HOSTILE... but of course they have every right to be... they're better looking than you!!! The food is expensive... um because "we the staff are beautiful .. you can't' look at us for free"... and the food is very mediocre. Um, you have a problem with that!?!? Ubermodels from around the world have come to play with their food here! It's an A for attitude at Sunset Beach!!!! I'm sure there's some sort of secret menu for the glamorous... like a cigarette salad with Stoli dressing. So, why do I actually look forward to going there!?!?!

There are deals... except for when it comes to Chili!! Plus watch out or you might get sued!!!

Most New Yorkers may not have noticed but according to a recent report by the Federal Department of Labor, in the past year... New York has become a cheaper place to live!! This is the first time this has happened in over 50Years.

It may be a temporary condition, that was likely caused by a substantial drop in the cost of energy.   Over this last year, the Consumer Price Index for the city dropped by 0.1 percent, its first decline in any 12-month period since 1956. 1956!!!! But have no fear... it's still not that cheap here out east! I have to clarify, we don't want people to think we're giving it away in the Hamptons!!!

Today, I had a turkey chili, salad and bottle of seltzer water at the Golden Pear. What was the cost ?? $19.50. I get the same thing at least 3 times a week but for some reason, getting .50 back from a $20 rankled me this afternoon. The food is great.. but I took it to go and ate it with a plastic set of utensils. I don't know about you but even compared to Manhattan... that felt a little pricey to me. But I wasn't sure! So I did some chili research!

I have a friend from Cincinnati (did I spell it right?) who brags about how good the chili is there... why I can't actually tell you how the chili tastes, I can tell you about the service.   It took me about 20 minutes to get an answer. But at the "world famous" SKYLINE CHILI, I guess it's famous everywhere else in the world but Long Island, my new favorite discovery on the Internet charges $5.99 for a QUART of chili and $2.49 for a garden salad and $1.50 for a soda. These prices could be inaccurate since the guy answering the phone wasn't too sure himself. That's a grand total of $9.98!!!! So take that Department of Labor!!! We're still expensive in the Hamptons! And we like it that way!!!!

On a real estate note, a friend of mine who is an attorney was doing some research. She remarked to me, you won't believe this agent who is known about town and knows the way of country living but he/she "sues everybody!!!" I can't tell you who it is but I'm not surprised.

Also, an offer you can't refuse!! There's a great historical restoration in Sag Harbor village. 4 Bedrooms, 4 Baths and it's under two million. Cheaper than having a chili!! E-mail me or call me if you want details.

It's a dogs life this weekend and I'll give you details tomorrow!!!

Planning your weekend... What's going on!

Well the forecast is looking kind of iffy at this point. I don't know of a time when I've been so consistantly depressed reading a forecast! Tomorrow. Rain, followed by rain, then more rain and then a thunderstorm. YUCK! ENOUGH!

So what to do other than pump the excess water out of your basement or pool? Go have a cocktail and help raise some money for a good cause. You can also go do some nifty artsy stuff like...

Saturday and Sunday from 9am to 5pm: The Sag Harbor Chamber of commerce is holding it's annual Arts and Crafts fair in Marine Park on Bay Street. Admission is free and you can get more information by visiting the chambers website http://www.sagharborchamber.com/ .

On saturday night... tons of benefits but I'll give you my top 3. I've yet to decide which one I'm going to!

Love Heals at Luna Farm, benefitting the Alison Gertz Foundation for Aids research. It's a beach theme featurning cocktails, auction, dancing and a barbeque. I don't know the price of tickets but it's being held at 276 Parsonage Lane, Sagaponack starting at 7:30pm. If you need more details go to the we address www.loveheals.org/luna .

Next is the American Heart Associations 13th annual Heart of the Hamptons Gala. This year's event is being held on the grounds of the Hayground School in Bridgehampton. There will be your standard auction, food and drinks. I will say this event has one of the best silent auctions all summer. Tickets are $500 and you can get more details here: http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3058137

This year's event is emceed by Bill Hemmer formerly of CNN. Rudy Giuliani and wife Judith will be there along with a long list of other east end celebrities.

Now last but not least ... the Animal Rescue Fund of the Hamptons better known as ARF is hosting ther 23rd annual GARDEN TOUR of 6 gardens in East Hampton. The tour is Saturday from 10am to 4pm followed by cocktails from 4-6pm. Get more details at http://www.arfhamptons.org/events.ihtml

If you're not familiar with ARF .. I encourage you to explore the web site. They're a shelter for animals in need and they do an awesome job... my own Boo is a shelter dog but you would think she came from Tiffany's (she has attitude). When you're there... read about Heidi above and see what you can do to help!!

Sorry I was MIA for a few days but it was MY turn to make the doughnuts!

Bikini Busters!!!! The best baked goods in the Hamptons!

I have long complained there are no good bakeries in the Hamptons. Ever since Ina Garten closed the doors on the Barefoot Contessa, I've been searching the East End tirelessly looking for the next great coconut cupcake. Ok, yes you can buy the box kit but it was forever ruined when my sister Gina decided to make them as a surprise for me! Yes they were a surprise... a surprise like being stuck in the Sahara without water. This is the same sister who confused the abbreviation for a tablespoon with pound while one time surprising me with pasta dinner!!! But enough about my sister's culinary clumsiness. Ok, one last jab...I shingled a roof once with her pancakes! But alas, there are good baked goods. First up on my list is BREADZILLA on Wainscott Northwest Rd. Great focaccia breads and in my opinion, the only place to buy a birthday cake this side of the canal. No, the prices are not for the faint of heart but they put their money where the butter is!!!

For cookies, try Levain Bakery on 27 at the Wainscott shopping center. The oatmeal raisin are my favorite. They each weigh about 3 lbs a piece.. or at least they feel like it... but they are awesome!!! The chocolate chip rock and the peanut butter...incredible. They're not open during the winter and hours are choppy at best. But if you catch them open, the fumes alone are awesome and they should charge admission! You can also get the cookies fresh out oven... wait I have to go wipe my drooling chin.

Finally ROUND SWAMP FARM, what can I say. The cinnamon buns, the sour cream coffee cake, the brownies, the triple berry pie and the corn bread muffins..... well lets just say I know them all intimately! The farm is and has been run for over 40 years by Carolyn Lester Snyder who along with her family create the baked goods and meals fresh daily. It's a small shop but it covered from wall to wall with quality stuff. It's not a baked good.. but it is baked... their Mexican cheese dip is just plain wrong!!! It has to be about 4000 calories but it's worth every scoop on your tortilla chip. The market is located on Three Mile Harbor Rd in East Hampton and is opened 9-5 Mon-Saturday... 9-1pm on Sunday. I know they accept cash, visa and I'm hoping soon will assist with financing!

Speaking of financing... in the ... It's not my listing but I know of a great deal section.... south of the highway property... it's a bank sale and an amazing deal. Contact me for details!!!! In fact, a few more distressed properties came onto the market last week... I'm about to start a weekly mailing here. Let me know if you want to be on the list. E mail me!!!!

A progressive blogging... I'll add more as the day progresses! Plus... on what side of history do you want to be?

Sorry, I've been crazed the past few days for those of you who actually read my blog. Anyway, I went back to Blue Sky in Sag Harbor. It's the former Spinnakers which is now being run by the former manager at Grappa. Anyway, I went for lunch the other day - Friday and the results were disappointed. My friend and I ordered a pizetta for an appetizer... but alas.. they didn't have any. HMMMMM. Next we decided to share a crab cake appetizer. It was kind of greasy and had a lot of bread crumbs. So for dinner, I had grilled chicken on lettuce. The chicken tasted like it was

warmed in a microwave but the greens were fresh. All in all... not bad... but not good either. Hopefully they can get their act together and improve the food. The menu really looks terrific.

Yesterday, it was a busy day in the Hamptons. First there was the God's Love We Deliver benefit.... which I missed this year but have supported in years past.

Fred Thiele NY State Senator (R) with Members of the Empire State Pride Agenda

At about 4 pm, I headed over to Sag Harbor to the home of David Epstein. He along with some of the heads of Empire State Pride Agenda including Kim Kakerbeck and Sarah Ferguson organized what I'm calling an "E-Raiser." I love that.. I'm so clever. Anyway what we did was send letters to some members of the NY State senate encouraging them to pass the same sex marriage bill, demanding the 1,324 rights that same sex civil unions will grant. We're at the tipping point of an historical moment. Be on the right side and send an e mail encouraging the following senators do the right thing. Here are the e mail guys... go for it!!! Especially if you live in Suffolk County NY.
skelos@senate.state.ny.us,
espada@senate.state.ny.us,
monserra@senate.state.ny.us,
lavalle@senate.state.ny.us
Go to it!!!

Also, it looks as if the Lodge is actually taking off! Saturday Soiree had wall to wall people on a rainy and cold Saturday. The outdoor patio is a beautiful area. Mark my words, if it ever stops raining and that's a big IF... the patio Lodge on Saturday from 6-9pm will be the place to be. The big in place on Saturday's for a long time was the East Hampton dump... so glad there's finally some place cool to go... especially one that doesn't smell!

We're s - h - o - p - p- ing...we're shopping!!

So, with so many expensive mc-couture stores coming to the Hamptons, it's great to see some quality merchandise that's beautiful and unique. Echoing the artisan boutiques and galleries of a day long gone by... say back in the mid 90's.. Sag Harbor is now home to Adornments Fine Jewelry. (Thank god for spell check you don't want to know how I badly I misspelled jewelry). Owner Joseph Maio who worked as a marketing director for a major design firm has brought his expertise into a chic and cool shop featuring the works of designers such as Gurhan, Lauren K. and Margot Morrison. Joe also has designer bags that are totally cutting edge and aren't ripped off and sold off of a card table on the corner of 57th and Madison or a Hong Kong market. Take the time... go see Joe.. the store itself is beautiful but don't be intimidated.. the prices are right and much of his wears are truly works of art. Adornments is located at 83 Main St., Sag Harbor 725-0051.

In the meantime some good real estate news....NOT... that adorable little cottage on Highland Terrace better known as the 2006 Designer showcase house is back on the market at a new improved price of $16,950,000! Let the foreclosure jokes begin!!! The house which was at one point $24 Million and then $12 million is for now some reason at it's new 2009 price. So what do you get for this bargain price... you get the ability to finish it yourself!!! Consider it a do it yourself kit... kind of a Sears and Roebuck house for the new millennium. Personally I would think for that kind of money SOMEBODY... could take a trip to home depot and put in some of the missing door knobs and light switches!! Hey, Ikea sells this stuff too.... HELLO! $16 Million dollars... call me picky! Personally, for the money I find these home kits a little bit more desirable!! http://www.shelter-kit.com/

Well are there other foreclosures south of the highway that are finished? I actually know of a few... get in touch and I'll fill you in.

Goodbye Spinnakers!! It was kind of like Cheers except without the cleaning crew!

(quick cover the name Spinnakers)

Well after many years of mystery diners.. meaning I don't know of a single soul who would ever go there.... Spinnakers in Sag Harbor is no longer. It's now been replaced by Blue Sky! Pepe.. .formally food and beverage manager at the Bridge and Grappa in Sag Harbor has created a new menu with both Italian and Spanish influences. While I haven't had dinner yet, the appetizers were first rate. It is essentially a really charming space inside. So, what's changed??? Gone are the greasy wings and inedible salads. They've also apparently scrubbed the place down from top to bottom!! Rumor has it they finally found Hoffa! Whew! . The garden in the back was always a hidden treasure in Sag Harbor the only problem was the food. Well that's all better now!!!

So, if you read my last post you know the Hermes doesn't have any sales in the Hamptons... but Sylvester and Co. in Sag Harbor does! I've been eyeing these planters in Linda Sylvester's fine establishment for months. They're a total steal now. I bought one and was running from the store like the crazy woman in the Ikea commercials.. "start the car... start the car.. they're going to figure out they undercharged me!!" Other than the planters, Linda has some of the nicest and most unique home and gift goods in the Hamptons. Check out her other store in Amagansett on the square or her web site and see for yourself! http://www.sylvesteressentials.com/ Also make sure to say hello to Linda's dog Fanny!!! Unfortunatly you can't take her home!!

It's late... but the blog must go on!!!

Ok, i'm blogging really really late. it''s 10:26pm on a Monday night and I'm typing about what's going on in the Hamptons. I was running around like a lunatic all weekend working with some renters hoping to cash in on some last minute deals and buyers who are finding out, it's really a good time to buy! Housing is on sale and so is money!

While the weather wasn't exactly great... It was still a typical Hamptons weekend. Traffic was backed up from East to Southampton and there was a half hour wait at the Citarella's parking lot.

So what else... Heterick Martin's School's Out benefit was a hit on Saturday.. Annie's grand opening in Southampton was packed.... The new Saturday Soiree at the Lodge had a good turnout in spite of the weather and competing with "School's Out" ... I'm sure it will be packed next week.

Billy Joel held an exhibition of his motorcycles in Sag Harbor and unless he's giving me one for free, I really could care less. Even if he does give me one for free.. I'm still not sure I care.

One piece of good news... the site of the former remediation project and "Gas Globe" in Sag harbor is now the site of additional village parking. Whoo Hooo. Sorry, I'm off to bed but i've done my duty.

Finally, I hate award shows but last night's Tony Awards were actually entertaining. I was shocked and I have a whole new appreciation of Doogie Howser, Neil Patrick Harris. My one final comment is how did something as utterly awful as "BILLY ELLIOTT" win best musical?? My sixth grade musical version of "Heaven Can Wait" was better. Sad... sad... sad... kind of like today's blog.

Stuff to do this Friday... I'm too frantic to be humorous!

So what to do this weekend???? One great event is on Saturday... The Hetrick Martin Institute, home to the Harvey Milk school in NYC is hosting it's "Schools Out" party. It will be held at the beautiful home of Peter Wilson and Scott Sanders - 189 Further Lane, East Hampton.. It's starts at 6pm and goes til 8:30pm. You can buy tickets at the door with cash, credit card or check... from a valid bank account of course!!! If you want more details on the organization or the event, I encourage you to visit the web site: http://www.hmi.org/Events.aspx

Also.. if you're really bored my new favorite video in the world is on YOUTUBE.COM. It's a literal lyrical version of singer Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart." While I love the song the video is one Velveeta short of Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield" but it does come close! To quote one line "the gayest man on earth would find this over the top!" It also has a great line about "Spinning Ninjas." Don't ask... watch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA

Finally, a little real estate news. Rentals for the season are up by about 40% or more. While the prices are not what they used to be... renters are coming out to take advantage of the Hampton's Blue Light Specials. But do me one favor folks.. please don't offer $.40 cents on the dollar. Things haven't gone that low. You might want to try Mastic instead.

New American cuisine.. and the New American Economy... friendly high end retailers!!! Yeah, I know I'm late.

Well first on my list today is that RUGOSA is now open!! Located at the site of the old

 ALMONDCELLO an ALMONDITTO. Chef Bill Mammes has created a truly inspired menu. All of your favorite dishes with a destinctive East End

 flair.   While I only got to try a few of the dishes, I arrived for the opening night party a little late.. although I did show up early on Sunday... the party was on Tuesday.   Anyway what I did have was really impressive. If memory serves me right an awesome "carrot with ginger soup and mussles." Also, a salt cod, I hate cod but it was was pretty terrific. Served with potato and grilled asparagus. Finally the ceviche, I didn't get a chance to try it but Ben from the East Hampton Independent said a big thumbs up. Congrats to chef  Bill Mammes formerly of The Maidstone Club and general manager and

 my budette Chimene Visser.   The interior by the way has been totally redone since Almoncello and it's stunning (see above).  

So I discovered that high end real estate is really a lot like high end retail. Some brokers are forcing themselves to be a lot nicer to both customers and other agents but the prices ain't coming down!!! The following is a real conversation with "L" from HERMES in East Hampton. She was absolutly lovely and nice... I'm sure she's now laughing with all of her co-workers at me.

Me: Hi, L. .. a friend of mine said you're having a huge like 40% off sale. Is that true?

L: (giggiling) No,we en't having a sale. (but very nice)

Me: Is ANYTHING on sale?!

L: No, we usually don't have sales here.

Me: What about an outlet shop... do you have one in Riverhead at Tangier?

L: (totally serious) No we don't have any outlet shops.

Me: Bummer. Thank you L.

L:  You're welcome.. thanks for calling HERMES!

Ugh, it would have been so much funnier if she were nasty!!

L: (A very nice thank you) Thank you for calling Hermes.

TORY BURCH: After going through a myriad of voice mail options, no human beings were answering the phone. IRONY!?

Where the boys are.... and when are you too old ?

Well it's been at least 6 years or so since The Swamp closed their doors and many across the

Hamptons were forced to actually stay at home on Saturday nights. Well now you don't have to hang with Paris at the Pink Elephant, The Lodge on Race Ln is holding what they're calling "Saturday Soiree." While I don't' think they'll be too much dancing, the restaurant is opening up their outdoor patio area and bar for the occasion. I hope they serve those awesome free little hamburger sliders. I'm sure I'll be one of the few who will actually eat them. Starvation is the new black for ohhh so many in the Hamptons. Anyway, if you need more details... call the lodge directly at 631-324-5022. The invite is to the left. I just hope they don't do something lame like having stupid drink specials... you know the pink ones with names like the Liza and the Judy! That's soooo 1989 Provincetown! We're in the Hamptons damn it!

So, what to wear this Saturday... what to wear!? I can tell you it won't be anything from Abercrombie and Fitch. (left, yeah I fit right in!) While many of my friends say I could be a catalog model, it's not Abercrombie and Fitch.... they're implying more that I'm that guy in the blue polo shirt grilling the dogs in a Home Depot ad. I would just love to think I have the bod and youthful looks to pull off wearing A&F.... but I DON'T and most men over 35 don't either. If you're wearing a hoodie and you're over 35 YOU HAVE ISSUES. In fact, I'm sure A&F is relieved I don't wear their clothes. I'm also too old for roller blading, I know that but I may still one day dust off my blades and put on my helmet, wrist guards, knee guards, elbow guards and my ego guards to go for a spin. I make no illusions, I know I'll look like a freak! I'm also too old to be listening to Timbaland, Anyone from American Idol and Miley Cyrus... Madonna is too old to be doing duets with them! I'll stay with my Annie Lennox and Sting. Finally, I'm also too old to be hanging out at The Talkhouse in Amagansett. While I did go a few weeks ago to see "The English Beat" and really had a great time, the audience was MY AGE that night. If I go on a normal Saturday night, I skew the medium age by at least a good ten years. I'm over walking on crusty beer soaked floors, although they were fun back in the day. I hate growing up!!!