|The menus!!! yess!|
This year, like last year my house is becoming a virtual revolving door of guests and relatives. It's not that I don't love ALL my friends and relatives. BUT every once in a while I hear some of my friends need down time. So what can they do?? How can they get their guests to leave without being insulting? Well here are a few easy tricks that will have them running to the Jersey Shore... and perhaps even get you a thank you host/hostess gift in the process! So here it is.... HOUSE CLEANING 2015!
The Thing Wouldn't Leave from AFTRS Radio on Vimeo.
Trick 1: Internet Interception - It's a fast paced world and one would think that when visiting one of the most beautiful locations on earth, visitors here would actually enjoy shutting the world off! HA! In the Hamptons where dinner tables are silent only because everyone is texting someone else more interesting at another table, staying in touch is like air to breathe. So what better way to give a guest a gentle nudge then to cutting off their connection to the world in addition to severing them from Netflix and sending their "Orange is the New Black" addiction into a tailspin.... unplug the wifi router! Remember, cell service is a joke out here so that wifi signal is also a lifeline to e-mail, Twitter and Facebook! I know it's cruel but really aren't they here to hang with you anyway?
|The breakfast of chumps!|
Trick 2: The Morning Jolt - They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So what better way to suck the energy out of the overly intrusive guest then starting their day on the wrong foot! Here's how you do it! You hide the Keurig, the Starbucks and the bagels and instead replace them with something terrifying; Instant coffee, generic cereal and Tang! Nothing says you couldn't care more by spending less! After day one of having to run to town to actually get something potable and edible your guest will be dreaming of a blanket in Sheep Meadow! "Trust me guys, Toasted Oats are actually better tasting than Cheerios! Really!"
|Yes, they'll have a headache and you'll get rid of one!|
Trick 4: Keep it Dry - Clean the house of all beer, wine and vodka and tell them it's a booze free zone. While yes, I know you don't need a drink to have fun... most Hamptons visitors want their sun and their Rose. Imagine this, a house full of hungry, sober people with no Internet reception or emails having to sit around talk to each other? I'd leave too!
REMINDER, this blog was done in the name of helping OTHERS. All of the guest in my house are welcome to stay as long as they want... family is welcome to stay the entire month of July..... and guests of guests of relatives of guests are also welcome! ANYTIME!