Are Short Term Rentals Harming The Hamptons... and I FINALLY got toTopping Rose!!

So the Hamptons are more crowded this year than last.  But yet, everyone from shop keepers and especially real estate agents (talking rentals) are saying that business is off.   One thing I always do when I take my stroll around town trying to look better dressed than the next guy, I always ask shop owners "how was your season?"   The response I keep hearing "not great."    But it's so crowded, which leaves me wondering what gives!?     Well some folks are blaming the increasing popularity of those short term rental websites for the problem.       For example, you can rent a house in Southampton from a website called Marquis for a nightly rate of $1,100 a night even though this is in violation of town code which requires a minimum of 14 days.     So, according to some there lies the problem.    You have a house which advertises an occupancy of 12 people each essentially paying $100 per person, they're not the types who are going to be spending money about town in the shops and restaurants.     By the way, I like that the Hamptons are becoming more accessible to folks who wouldn't normally be able to visit but by allowing overcrowding in houses it's more like a spring break location than quiet escape from city living.    What do you think?

Finally,  I got the chance to visit the new Topping Rose by Jean Georges last night and I can say is it was worth the wait.  Although the reservation lines need some fixing... about 45 minutes of holds, hang ups and transfers... the total experience was great.   The menu is unpretentious with everything from an amazing mini pizza to a terrific kale salad and a really solid cheese burger.    Service was solid and entrees arrived within a half hour of ordering.  I had the penne with meatballs and thought they were over the top awesome.   My dinner guests ordered the burger and the salmon, each earning a thumbs up from each.   I also recommend the heirloom tomato salad which right now is on the tail of being in season so go try it now.    This is a huge step up from last year's outing by Tom Coli
cchio.   

Salsa... Soros... and more!

I've griped forever about how there isn't a good Mexican "sit down" restaurant in the Hamptons.    I've complained and complained.  Yes, I like La Fondita and Sabrosa but I can't really see having a nice quiet dinner at either location.     But this summer, it seems we finally can get the whole enchilada and enjoy it too!

First in Southampton is Union Cantina.   Located at the site of the former Southampton Public House,   the "Cantina" opened in mid-June and has been packing it's tables ever since.   So far, the reviews have been pretty good.   I haven't yet been but FOHC (Friends of Hamptons Chatter) have been telling me the foods pretty solid... not outstanding but good.    The standouts according to my sources are the enchiladas, roasted peach glazed pork and the freshly made salsa.  While the prices are certainly not Taco Bell they're not exactly Nello either.    So based on the word of mouth around town it seems Union Cantina is worth a visit.    If you've been, let me know what you think.

Secondly,  The Blue Parrot in East Hampton has long been a punch line for bad food and bad service in my book forever!  I went a few years ago when it first opened under the new management which includes Jon Bon Jovi and the girl from Jerry Maguire who has a name I can't spell.   The food was overpriced, lousy and served with a snarl from the surly staff.      If that wasn't bad enough they used to have a bouncer there which would have lead you to believe, folks were clamoring to get inside.... and they weren't.   Anyway, for whatever reason I decided to stop by for a visit last week after a hiatus of close to three years.      The first thing I encountered was a friendly staff and no bouncer!     I had to wait while my table was being prepped so I sat at the bar and had a really great margarita... at $15 bucks it was no bargain but the pour was generous and the mason jar/drinking glass was filled pretty high.   

I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I like you!!!

After about 5 minutes, the table was ready and I sat down as fresh tortilla chips and salsa were being dropped off at the table.      That was followed by the house Oaxaca salad and Lime Chipotle fajitas.  While I know fajitas aren't exactly gourmet and probably not the best way to judge the cuisine, I have to say they were really good and served with fresh made corn tortillas.     By the way, yes you can make bad fajitas I should know, I worked at a Chi Chi's in college (for those of you who don't know, it was the Mexican Olive Garden of the 80's).     My partner in crime Peter had the fish tacos which which also garnered a big thumbs up.      The final verdict is that I take back all the negative things I've said in the past about Blue Parrot.    The snarky Go Fund Me page for the chef to take cooking lessons has been taken down and my mea culpa is complete.     So ,  if you've not been to The Blue Parrot in years, take my advice and give it another shot.  

Finally, just in time for August some good news about what makes the Hamptons such a fun place to live.    According to sources, billionaire investor George Soros made a stop with a few friends at the American Hotel in Sag Harbor.   While that's not anything to set rumors flying what happened when the check was delivered is the interesting part.  Apparently Mr. S. (as I call him) paid his hefty check with 4 figures not including cents and added on a 100%+ tip for the staff.     While I haven't been able to confirm this Christmas come early gift from the tight lipped staff at the hotel... my sources are pretty reliable.     Besides, what's so wrong with being nice!?

IF YOU WANT TO SPEAK LIKE A HAMPTONS INSIDER... READ THIS!

It's now official, the Hamptons are now the sixth borough.    When you pick up your land line phone, you now have dial the area code for local calls.   It's not that it's a big deal but I kind of think it's the
tipping point for something.  I'm not sure what... but it's definitely a tipping point for something.

New Technology is coming to the Hamptons!

Meanwhile, I never realized it but when you sell real estate on the East End you start to speak a language all of it's own.   A few months ago I started noting the terms I use with some of my other friends in the biz out here to describe the people and places in our humble little neck of the woods.   So here they are in no particular order or significance, additions to the lexicon of selling Hamptons real estate.

TMS or Taj Mahal Syndrome - this is when a home seller thinks their particular property is the best of the best.   Yes, it involves an inflated price tag on their home and total denial of the realities of the market place.    While they love their gilded fish faucets in the downstairs powder room, very few consumers will put a value on such a luxurious fixture.   It doesn't matter how much they cost.  It's really a frustrating affliction for realtors because how do you not insult your sellers while explaining, "everyone thinks your #@#***%  gilded fish are hideous?"

Catfished - this term is actually used more often when discussing Facebook profiles  but can also be used to describe when some customers actually see an advertised listing in person.     Thanks to

Catfished:  photoshopping happens

modern technology and overseas sweat shops, it's easier for property photos to be "enhanced" without spending a fortune.    A gaping hole in the roof?   No problem, it's solved with a click of a mouse and a wave of a pen.   So imagine, the buyers delight when they actually see the house in person!?  They've been "catfished."

A Kobe -  Remember when Kobe Bryant got tangled up in a sex scandal a few years back?  A few nasty headlines and the next thing you know is his wife got a brand new bauble the size of Texas?   Well it happens here too. So, while diamonds are a girls best friend, real estate is many a girls BFF (rings can get lost).   Now, I don't want to sound sexist.  There are more than a few men out there getting their "kobes" too. But while I've also noticed it's usually spouse #2 who gets these 8000 square foot multi-million dollar baubles, there really is nothing wrong with it.    I'm happy to helps someone "kobe" anyone, anytime.

Earhardt - Yes, I've written about this before but a great term is worth repeating.   This one was shared to me by one of our local cab drivers a few years ago.    This is a person who is renting a home in the Hamptons but can't remember where it's located.    A reference to the pioneer and missing aviator Amelia Earhardt.    These particular folks are usually spotted wandering around early in the season on the streets of the east end looking for the cedar shingled house with the pool in the back yard.  

Yes it's fun being here in the playground of the rich, famous and sometime clueless... where we have a lifestyle and a language all our own!

10 GREAT PLACES TO FIGHT THE FLAB IN THE HAMPTONS

Yeah, that's me up top... CENTER!

Summer in the Hamptons ...  a time for sitting in hours of traffic on route 27.   A time for attending overpriced benefits and rubbing shoulders with walking wax figures.   A special time when other annual occurrences like budding flowers, warm breezes the privileged 20-somethings getting sick on the streets of Montauk are common.      It's also that time of year where you get to remind yourself how completely inadequate you look in that bathing suit.  

But before you break out the Barry Manilow and Carpenters albums... remember you don't have to look like the before picture on the back of that comic book.   The east end is a great place to back in shape and stuff that gut into a wild bikini!  

Biking, jogging and back yard swims are some of the easiest ways here to burn the calories and fight the fat.    But if you're like me and require a little more motivation from an instructor or hot gym goer next to you, take note.  Hamptons  Chatter is here with 10 of the best places to workout this coming season.

1) Flywheel Sports - East Hampton located at 65 Montauk Highway and Flywheel at Sag Harbor Gym, 1 Bay Street Sag Harbor.    The original spin studio where some folks can burn over 1000 calories in a single class.    A great place to be seen and see some of the more famous faces of the Hamptons (Broderick, Baldwin, Zellwegger... or you know the girl from Jerry Macguire) including instructor Holly Rillinger who is the star of Bravo's Work Out New York!    Pay by the class or get a membership but no matter what, make sure to book your classes in advance.  

2) Yoga Shanti - Sag Harbor located at 32 Bridge Street.   Get toned, fit and sweat at one of the most noted yoga studios around.    There are classes for everyone from beginner to expert.   Prices vary and there are some famous faces here too.   One of the more frequent and notable patrons is entrepreneur and producer Russell Simmons.    You can pay by the class, package or membership.   It's a good idea to book your classes in advance here as well.    There is also a complete schedule online so check it out.   By the way, if you're looking for something a little less "precious," try Karma Diva in East Hampton.  It's the yin to Yoga Shanti's yang. 

4) East Hampton Indoor Tennis - East Hampton located at 175 Daniels Hole Rd. -  Before you question why I'm suggesting a tennis club let me tell you the average Joe can burn about 700 calories an hour playing tennis.  But if you want something a little more intense check out the tennis aerobics on Tuesday and Thursday mornings at the club.   To say you'll be dripping wet is an understatement.   Pay by the class or become a member the choice is yours.     The staff is friendly and you can play indoor and out.    Click above or here to go to the website.

5) Crossfit Hamptons- Southampton located at 375 County Rd. 39.   Rather than me trying to explain it.. watch an eye candy video about what exactly crossfit entails.        A little bit of this a little bit of that and bodies in motion.    Click here for more details on how to sign up for a Crossfit Hamptons class.



Yeah, that looks easy!!! 

6) Barry's Bootcamp - Amaganett located at 199 Main St. and Wainscott 352 Montauk Highway.   If Xenu started teaching fitness classes... it would be Barry's Bootcamp.   Although it's the new guy in town it's already garnered a cult like following.    In all honesty, I've never gone but my friends who've attended are addicted.   Click here for more details.

7)  Lift Hamptons - Wainscott located at 354 Montauk Highway - A boutique gym located next to the best cookie shop in the Hamptons (Levan Bakery).    I know it seems like some sort of a sick joke but once you pass the temptation you'll find a motivating bright and zen like atmosphere perfect for your morning workout.   Memberships are based on an hourly rate and include one on one training.    Click here for more information.

8 & 9 ) East Hampton YMCA - 2 Gingerbread Lane and Southampton Town Recreation Center - 1370 Majors Path.   Both places have it all but at a fraction of the price of the "other" gyms in town.     There are no celeb siteings but if you want to live like a local and save some money on getting fit.... click here for Southampton or here for East Hampton YMCA.   Fees vary based on residency in both locations. 

10) Truth Training - East Hampton located at 5 Railroad Ave. - Truth Training is a strength based workout, programming and lifestyle series that revolves around the "foundation" exercises.   Think of it as a P90X class right here live in the Hamptons with some of the best and most educated trainers around.     Click here for class schedules and rates.     

Ok, there it is.. 10 Great places to get your body ready for the beach.    Woah, this blog was exhausting.    Now, it's time for my burger, fries and beer at the Corner Bar in Sag Harbor!   Just kidding... off to the basement for my Peloton bike.   I don't want to see any of you losers when I work out!!!   Kidding again.... sort of.  

SOMETHING BREWING IN SOUTHAMPTON... AND PLEASE DON'T TELL ME WHAT ZILLOW SAYS ABOUT YOUR HOUSE!

Something Brewing.. time to change the label!

I can barley stand it!   It has some folks hops-ing mad!   Apparently the spuds will no longer be flowing on Bowden Square.   In spite of an announcement back in October that the Southampton Publick House would be staying put at the current location, word has gotten out that folks will soon have to fasten their beer goggles in a new location.    Since 1996 the brewery and restaurant have been a staple around town but it seems the new building owners have other plans.    According to some local insiders, the location will soon be home to a "high end Mexican Restaurant."     Now if you've ever read this blog before... that's a huge deal for me yet I hate to see an old favorite move to somewhere new.     While the Publick house will go on... like Celine Dion's heart.... it will according to insiders have to be in a new location.   Sometimes a little change will do you good.

Oh is that the blood rushing to your head?

Now for a little advice.   If you want to send any real estate agent's boiling blood further to their head just say the following sentence, "BUT Zillow said my house is worth X!"   It's the bane of many a real estate agent and brokers existence.   In fact, The Los Angles Times  recently tackled the issue of "Zestimantes" (Zillow's estimate) and how many claim they're wildly inaccurate.    In fact, I have to say part of the big problem with Zillow's "formula" is that it can't really take into account factors like condition and location (waterfront, south of the highway, village).    So how inaccurate are these "Zestimates?"  Well the CEO of Zillow was recently quoted as saying they're "a good starting point" and have a "median error rate of about 8%."   Obviously this error rate varies in different markets and Zillow even says so at the bottom of the Zestimates page.     While I couldn't locate the margin in our area, I can tell you that my own personal home fluctuated by about $5,000,000 in a period of 6 months.    Now, I know you think Hamptons Chatter just rakes in the money but the initial high estimate they gave my home
was crazy.   I'd move out in hours if I could get that number tomorrow!    Yep, I would guess their error rate in the Hamptons is a heck of a lot more than a 8%.   It's a big miss in the Hamptons... like an Ishtar big miss!  A "Missestimate" if you will.     So the take away from all of this... talk to an agent or do your homework (Zillow.com is a great source for closed prices) and don't try let some silicon valley geek tell you what your home is worth.   Besides,  how could you put a price on that "Sistine Chapel" painting on your master bedroom ceiling?

A SUPER SUPERMARKET! PLUS, WHERE'S THE "CAN" FROM OUT "CANDIDATES?" YEAH, I KNOW THIS HEADLINE IS TERRIBLE!

No longer just coming soon.. now arrived!

Sometimes my inspiration for this blog comes from the strangest of places.   This particular posting is coming from a very unlikely muse, Marilyn Hegerty who is the restaurant reviewer at the Grand Forks Herald in North Dakota.   At 85 years old she became an internet sensation with her earnest and insightful review of The Olive Garden which burst onto the Grand Forks culinary scene late last year.    So, if Marilyn can review The Olive Garden why can't I review the latest entry into the East Hampton scene?You got it, I'm talking about the new Stop and Shop Supermarket on Newtown Lane.*  

(*could also be substituted with the Stop and Shop nee Walbaum's in Southampton)

After a lengthy wait for Stop and Shop to open in East Hampton*, the moment has finally arrived.  My visit occurred the other day on a busy Tuesday afternoon.    After a long day at the office, I figured a late shopping excursion would be both fashionable and just what the doctor ordered.   Apparently my doctor thinks shopping is good for me.   

The parking lot was bustling with eager patrons as I arrived and while there were limited spaces.   Luckily,  the flow in and out of the store was so constant that it was only a few mere moments before I was able to find an ample space of my very own.   I could feel the excitement as I approached the SELF OPENING front doors that where both swift and convenient for a distracted shopper.     

I was greeted as I entered into the market by smiling and friendly employees who were smartly dressed in purple and dark blue uniforms surrounded by lush, opulent and tempting looking produce. The lighting was bright and cheery and the aisles were clean and spotless, a definite improvement over the old Walbaum's.   I asked one of the managers if they had any gluten free pasta to which he cheerfully responded, "of course in our new organics section!"   They have an or
ganics section!  I then knew I made the right choice to give this Stop and Shop a chance! 

Finally with my pasta in hand I made my way to the check out aisles.   It was a pleasant surprise for me to now find many aisles opened with real human cashiers, also smartly dressed in purple with blue aprons.    The line was fast moving and the staff also told me about the savings I could receive if I filled out a form for a "preferred customer card."   How lovely... I'm preferred and they just met me!

All in all, it's the largest and best lit super market now operating in East Hampton.   It attracts vistors from out of town as well as people who live in East Hampton.    It's a welcome addition to the community and will hopefully get better as they learn the preferences of the community.  So I have to heartily recommend Stop and Shop for your grocery shopping in our humble little hamlet. 

Generic election sign .. so I don't make and MORE enemies!

Speaking of our little hamlet, the election is finally over!   Now, I know it's never a good idea to discuss politics I think it's fair to express my general outrage over the littering.... and I do mean littering of signs everywhere. People always complain about real estate signs but these paper ones are wayyyyy worse.  Besides we can put the same sign every two feet!   If it were up to me, I would actually fine the candidates $10.00 for every sign they leave out after today.   Its bad enough my mailbox was full... and I mean full... like
more stuffed than if Frontgate, Orvis and Restoration Hardware both did  a double mailing for Christmas.  Oh the trees that had to die for such negative and prolific propaganda!   I'm glad it's over and I now have room for my catalogs!

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SUMMER RENTERS... PLUS HOW TO PLAN FOR YOUR NEXT HAMPTONS BEACH PARTY!

Summer '15... few takers?

As we come to the end of the summer of '15, there seems to be a reoccurring topic of conversation among home owners, agents and pretty much everyone.    "Was it a good rental season?"   Well the answer in a nutshell is "no."    In fact, I have had a number of homeowners ask me, why their home didn't
rent.   If you're one of the many who've uttered those words you're not alone.   I'm not sure if it was because of all of those short term rental sites or more folks are buying and building.  I've heard both theories.  What I do know... in the opinion of this humble agent was it was not as active as years past.   But it wasn't just me.  In fact, I meet monthly with a group of about 25 top agents from a cross section of all the real estate companies and regions.   At our last get together someone raised the question, "who thought this was a good rental season?" Unfortunately not one person raised their hand.   What I think this means is next year, look for an adjustment in some prices and landlords being a bit more accommodating in cutting a deal.   If you found otherwise, feel free to let me know.

One of my favorite things to do this time of year is to hit the beach in the early evening with some friends and enjoy the sand, the fresh air and the surf... and I don't mean on your smartphone.   You only have a few weeks left of Summer '15 so here's one way to make it special.     But before you lug your blankets, food and friends Wiborg or Fowler, make sure your know the rules.   Hello?!  Like you didn't think there were rules.... it's the Hamptons, there are rules for everything.

There better be a container under there!?

In case you haven't been paying attention, new laws went into effect that require beach fires in East Hampton town be lit in a metal container, similar laws were already in effect for Southampton and East Hampton village.   In Southampton Village, you need a permit  to light a bonfire.   For the most part no permits are necessary on the other beaches but as I said, you need to clean up... keep it contained... and have some buckets of water handy.   You're of course responsible for putting out the fire and cleaning up afterwards.   Also, don't try to light that fire before 6pm, it's a no-no.

As for a little Rose for that perfect summer beach dinner party, you'll need a permit if you're inviting over 50 people.    Also, open containers of alcohol are prohibited across the board but you can get a special permit for catered events and parties.   Pets are also allowed after 6pm at most beaches.   If you want more information for each local town... check out the links below and have fun.   But remember, not too much fun it's the Hamptons.

EAST HAMPTON TOWN
EAST HAMPTON VILLAGE
SOUTHAMPTON TOWN
SOUTHAMPTON VILLAGE

IF THIS SEEMS NORMAL.... YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN THE HAMPTONS!

I know it might sound shocking to some but I'm not originally from the Hamptons.  Yes, many think I'm the quintessential Hamptonite.  But here's my deep, dark secret....  I actually grew up in New Jersey.... but it gets worse... South Jersey!   Yes, a place where something called Scrapple (google it if you don't know - but don't say I didn't warn you) is considered gourmet, water is pronounced "worder" and the differences between peeing in the pool and into the pool are debatable.      Yet, after being here now for more than 20 years, I've become jaded.

Yet, while there are certain things that many on the outside already know about life in the Hamptons... the fun of a good star sighting... (You know sitting next to Jack Nicholson at The Grill - yep I did),.. $25.00 containers of guacamole or the insane price of real estate.. there are a few things that only those who really live here can understand.   Things that would make the average jaw drop in say, Ohio (are you reading Laura D?) that we here on the East End completely take for granted.  So here are a few of my observations that only people on the inside will understand as everyday life as we know it in the Hamptons.  

Valet Service at the Hospital - Where I grew up, the only valet I ever experienced for medical treatment involved an ambulance.   But here in the Hamptons we have valet service!   Yes, you can drop off your BMW or Tesla as your holding your blood soaked bandages on that gushing wound and get a free claim ticket!  I know, its just as glamorous as it sounds and almost as fancy as taking a "Blade" helicopter to Stony Brook.      

Oblivious Texting and Walking -  Perhaps the reason so many are using that valet service is because they were claiming their G*d given right to text and walk without looking.    Yes,  it doesn't matter if your crossing Main Street or 27 in the Hamptons, if you're texting and walking there is no need to look.   It's the drivers or bicyclists obligation to be on the lookout for you!  Ugh... I know I get it... pedestrians have the right away but there is a certain amount of responsibility we all need to take.     But only on the East End is this sort of behavior not only tolerated its commonplace and it's something I guess we're all kind of used to seeing.

Cancel all appointments... I'm getting my car washed.

Fistfights at Yoga -  Well in the parking lot to be more exact.  Why?  Because there's no parking... there's no parking... there's no parking!  I don't care if I'm there to find my center, if you take my space while I'm waiting you're toast!  It's a scenario that's more common than you think and is also a frequent scene at that other hub of zen, Soulcycle.    Now let's go to the Golden Pear and get an iced coffee!

Taking an Hour to Get Your Car Washed - UGH!  OK, it's a lot better in Hampton Bays but in Southampton it's like sitting through a Merchant-Ivory production.   SLOOOOOOOOOOWWWW. Now,   I don't think it's the fault of the staff but the simple fact they're the only game in town that makes this a most exhausting endeavor.    "I'm sorry, I'm not taking appointments on Wednesday.. I'm getting my car washed!"

Overdressed Ice Cream Stands - If you've ever been to Olaf's, Scoop Du Jour or Sant Ambroeus... especially the latter on a hot summer night, you know the Hamptons has it's own dress code.  This ain't no Dairy Queen in Idaho.... You'll stick out like a sore thumb if you dare wear a Harley T-shirt, Docker's shorts or even rubber flip flops.     It's designer duds for double dipping.   But don't think any trendy outfit will do.   Hamptonites have put the Blah in Manolo Blahniks... its more than just shoes... you need to be decked from head to toe when you order that Mint Chip no-sugar added lactose-fat free gelato.     Yes, consider it a dairy themed "Mean Girls."   

But everyone, please know living here hasn't changed me at all.   I'm still a softy at hearty.   Now, like everyone else out here I don't judge people by their race, religion or sexual preference.. I judge them by the car they drive (yes I stole that from Ellen Degeneres). 

RECON FROM HARBOR MARKET AND THE BEST OF OVERPRICED HAMPTONS!

The New Harbor Market!

Hi all, just remember Hamptons Chatter is not a daily, a weekly or any other type of regular anything.  I also refuse to take any sort of literary Metamucil!   I only speak when I feel inspired to speak, when the muses have touched me or when something around town really pisses me off.    So guess what? The muses haven't touched me but I am a little.... wait no negativity here either.   I need to breathe.   Hmm.   OK now for the not angry edition of Hamptons Chatter or as Curbed.com editors have been known to call this "HC."    I can live with that... HC!

Well, I finally had the chance to go the new Harbor Market and Kitchen in Sag Harbor to see if all the fuss and arguing was worth it.  Well, here I am to tell you it was much ado about nothing!   The place looks fantastic, beautiful barn doors, cedar shingles and the whole exterior of the place is totally in keeping in with the neighborhood aesthetic.     The food by the way, is also pretty good especially the pizzas but only order when you're not in a hurry.   As for the much feared industrial sounds coming from the roof and the awful unattractive roof.... well it's pretty damn quiet and its way more attractive than that house on 114 that looks like it's being built for the Munsters or the hideous colors radiating from Yummilicious!   Not that I don't love Yummilicious.

I don't know the owners of the market but I can tell you they've had their hands full battling to open the market... remember this is the same street where panties were twisted over a huge pair of legs.... but there efforts have paid off.    The interior is beautiful and the sandwiches, salads and the macaroni and cheese are pretty good too!    So go, check it out and decide for yourself.... and decide if the world really changed that much on Henry Street!?

But you know different things find different things offensive.     What do I find offensive??????   Some of the prices we are forced to pay here around town in the Hamptons!  Here is my brief list of some of the worst offenders.  Now remember, I don't mind paying big bucks for the guacamole at Round Swamp Farm because it's amazing.   What I do resent is mediocre products at premium prices. But remember, this is not an angry blog.  I'm staying positive.   So here are some of the most positively overpriced items I can think of on the East End.... 2015 Edition!

No supersizing here - Sanscerre that is Sen-sationally expensive!! 

Sen Restaurant - This Sag Harbor establishment is always packed and I get it.   The food is good but a dinner for two with a few glasses of wine and some sushi shouldn't cost nearly $300 bucks!    Well, part of it might have been the very stingy pours of Sancerre wine, I'm convinced that I the owner or manager was inspecting before going to the waiting tables.  REALLY? It's a $14 dollar glass of wine... you're not going to lose money if they give some lucky diner an extra ouce!    It will be a long time before I go to Sen again, instead I'll head to Zokkon in East Hampton which is a fraction of the cost and just as good.   It's also never packed there.... but it should be... great food and friendly prices!

Any Taxi in the Hamptons - I recently went from the Hampton Jitney to BMW in Southampton.   How far was that?  What 300 yards?!  It cost me nearly $20 dollars because it was a flat rate. Apparently that is for all cabs across the board... or so I'm told   Now before you all go saying I'm lazy and should have walked, I had a ton of luggage.   But really... $20?!  I could have taken a cab from the Upper East Side to Midtown for less.   But hey, it's the Hamptons where some take the motto "if you have to ask the price then you shouldn't be here!"

Babette's East Hampton -  How much would you pay for a Western Omelette?     How about $18.95 at this Village eatery.   There really isn't much to say here... I mean it's an omelette!    Instead of getting eggs here, how about getting the same dish at Princess Diner for $9.95.   By the way, what's with the .95 cents, is it some sort of weird egg law or tax?   For crying out loud people, say what it is for real;  $10 and $19.

East Hampton and Southampton Parking Tickets - Go to the beach without a permit or park on one of the lanes and you're going to get slapped with a $150 parking ticket.   Yup, that's like getting two California Rolls and a glass of wine at a certain restaurant!  By the way, don't try messing with any of the brownies - the kids that write the tickets... nothing to do with Tate's or Round Swamp Brownies.... wait I'm hungry!   OH, don't mess with the kids writing tickets in any of the villages, they may be taking their SAT's in the fall but these kids do not fool around!



Well, I'm back to pure happy thoughts now!    So I'm done writing.

     

 

IF YOU WANT TO RENT YOUR HOUSE IN THE HAMPTONS..... A FEW THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW FIRST!

One of the great things about owning a home in the Hamptons is your ability to rent it out.    Yes, for some it's a cash cow and can help off set most of your yearly expenses in just 3 short months.    But you better know what you're doing.   If you rent to the wrong tenant or your house isn't ready, you could end up making less than money than a romantic comedy with Katherine Heigl and Nicholas Cage.

So what do you need to know and how do you get the most money possible for your rental?  Well luckily Hamptons Chatter is here to tell you.

Price it Right - This is my rule of thumb...  if you just bought your house and it's decorated and well maintained, you can expect about 4-5% the cost of the property for the Memorial Day to Labor Day period.   50% of that should be counted for the August rental.   For example, your Restoration Hardware decorated home you just bought for $1,000,000 should rent MD-LD for $50k or $25K for August.   This is not a hard and fast rule.  If your house is a few years old, ask an agent what they think would be a good rental price. It's also not a science so adjusting the price as you get close to the season may be needed.

List your property properly -  First off, keep it as an open listing.  Unless you're renting your home for $250k or more, most companies won't even take an exclusive rental and that's not a bad thing.   Agents are no different than anyone else and they're looking to earn a living.   So if it's between a $100k rental that's an exclusive rental where the agent will have to give a chunk to the listing agent or an open listing where they get the lions share, which one do you think they're going to show?   Most rental listings in the Hamptons are open listings, so keep yourself competitive.   But also know, unless you tell your agent to share the listing you'll need to make sure every company has your home and at the right (same) price!

Busy, busy, busy!!  www.uglyhousephotos.com

Get the house ready to go - If agents are starting to show your house,  it should look like your tenants are moving in tomorrow.     Reduce the clutter around the house, make sure all of your photos and personal Nick-knacks are stored away and please, please, please keep it neat and clean.    Also, less is more.... if the house is overloaded with furniture that's not a plus for most tenants, it will only make the property feel crowded and full.
your house if there are dirty dishes are in the sink and pet hair on all of the sofas (nobody wants to live in someone else's dirt).   "Clean" is also a key word when it comes to decor.   Busy patterns or tons of floral bed spreads, pillow cushions or curtains will overwhelm some potential tenants.   While you're taste may be good, it might not be for everyone.   That's why   Do not show Baskin and Robbins has 31 flavors but you don't need that many colors!

Make it and easy show - While I don't suggest leaving a key under the mat (that's a really bad idea for a number of reasons).   You have to make sure agents have easy access to your property.   Customers run late... HELLO, IF THINK YOU'RE IN THE HAMPTONS AND YOU DIDNT HIT TRAFFIC YOU'RE ONLY IN SHIRLEY.... and sometimes agents run late too so if it becomes to difficult to coordinate they'll move on.  The best way to control access and make sure you get shown is to drop a key off with your local broker.  They'll keep the key locked up and log who borrows and uses the key.   You could also buy a lock box or better yet buy a digital remote system where you can grant access to your home via your cell phone.  My personal favorite is the KEVO system, which you can buy easily enough on Amazon.

Get professional photos - If you want a good laugh, go through one of those "home for rent -by owner" sites.  Would you rent some of these homes?   I didn't think so.  Bad photos are a home owners biggest enemy.   My advice is hire a professional photographer (call any agency they'll recommend who to call) and then share these photos to all the agencies.   You have to spend money to make money and this particular expense is a no brainer to me.


Finally a few last points about "Hamptons Summer Renting" - if you use an agent to rent your house you'll need to pay the commission and in most cases it's 10% of the term of the lease.     It might seem like a lot but most agents screen their customers or get them via referral.  You'll be less likely to get a bad egg tenant.     Also, most leases require that tenants will maintain the property while in residency, so make sure they use the folks who know the house... your housekeeper, your lawn guy, your pool person, etc.

Also, if you live in Southampton Town make sure to get a rental permit.  It's not easy to do but it will protect you in the long run if you have problems with the tenant.

Now remember, I couldn't cover everything in this brief posting but I hope its a helpful start.   I also know not everyone will agree with my advice so feel free to post what you think.

Weekend Wrap-up; Renting Sight Unseen... Winter of Our Discontent Continues!

So, it was another snowy weekend here on the East End.    The snow, the ice, the frigid cold and the general lousy weather continues here in the Hamptons.     While internet activity for rentals and sales still remains strong and steady,  the number of people willing to trek through snow and frigid temps is dwindling.    This in turn has led to a number of

Rapid Rescue... lifesavers!  Yep, that's my car!

rentals actually being rented sight unseen.   One broker I spoke with "E" said it, "makes me very nervous."    Renting from a picture which could have very well been photo-shopped is a bad idea.    Another agent "G" indicated that they're seeing tenants from previous seasons going back to the house they rented last year so they don't have to come back out and look again.    Speaking to my cadre (aren't you impressed with my vocabulary?) of experienced brokers and agents, the weather continues to put somewhat of a damper on the Hamptons market.   That being said, once the snow melts they're expecting an explosion of activity....  because phones are ringing and e-emails are being traded back and forth.  So the grade for this weekend was a C+. I really have to go to Florida soon! 

An offer at Guild Hall you can't refuse!

If you want an example of how difficult it is to get around the Hamptons, look no further than yours truly.     I made the mistake of taking my "4 Wheel" car out last night to pick up some food.    But alas, after one gunning of the accelerator and a slippy driveway I ended up in a snow bank on my own driveway.   I mean with all of the ice, if you don't see sharp you'll be flat (read that again).   Anyway, thanks to RAPID RECOVERY and $135,  I finally got my car out this morning.    By the way, I also want to thank my lovely neighbor for trying to pretend he didn't see.    I wasn't going to ask for your help anyway!    So for the next few days, keep Rapid Recovery on speed dial, they were great and there in about an hour...(631) 728-7752.


Meanwhile, this week there's an offer at Guild Hall you can't refuse.  The East Hampton film society will be presenting a special screening this Thursday night at 7 p.m. of the 1972 classic, "The Godfather."  Personally I liked the "Godfather II" better but still this flick glues me to the screen every time I catch it on TV.   Tickets are $8.00 for non members.  If you want more information  click here for the website and you can also buy tickets.  So, take it to the mattresses and go get a ticket.... otherwise you may find a horse in your bed!
catch it.

MONDAY MORNING MARKET REPORT.... HAMPTONS WEEKEND ACTIVITY!

One of the first questions I get asked every week is "how busy was the weekend?"   Here in the Hamptons, the real estate market (IMHO) really sees most of it's action Thursdays - Sundays.   It makes sense since we are a secondary home market that most buyers come on the weekends to take a look.   That being said, I'm going to try on Monday mornings to quarterback the weekends activity!   I mean we all get those market reports but in a world where everyone wants instantaneous information this is my attempt to satisfy that need.    From now on every Monday I'll be posting my "MONDAY MORNING MARKET REPORT."

The results of this little "report" are not very scientific but I'm trying to make it as accurate as possible.   It is compiled from a cross section of about a dozen broker and agents from different companies and all have more than 5 years in the business and have at least a hand full of listings and are actually earning a living.    It's a "Hamptons Chatter" exclusive and hopefully more accurate than a Brian Williams special report broadcast but not quite as detailed as PBS' Newshour.

The weekend of February 6th-8th has traditionally (this time of year) been a slow to moderately busy weekend for Hamptons real estate and this year was pretty much on par with last.    While Internet traffic has been steadily increasing with a a big bump back on MLK weekend, the cold and icy weather put a damper on actual showings and appointments.   Homes with un-plowed drives and walks covered with snow made it difficult for buyers, renters, sellers and agents.     Some agents have also mentioned homeowners concerns with liability issues over icy and dangerous walkways.


Rental traffic has also been effected by the bad weather.   While there is still ample rental inventory, homeowners are choosing to hold out for whole season rentals before breaking down to monthly terms due to the slow traffic.    We can also expect to have more rentals to be added to the market as agents continue to update from 2014.

The above factors have impacted overall activity and influenced it's grading as a "C" weekend.  This is on a grading system of "A" being extremely busy and an "F" being dead as a door nail.   Look for a jump next weekend as the President's Day Holiday has traditionally been a busy time for everyone on the East End.

Meanwhile, since so many Hamptonites have been hunkered down and snowed in more times than not these past few days,  I have a suggestion that will make that time in front of the fire and flat screen a little more bearable.   Why not grab a box of wine?   Yes, a box of wine.    But before you roll your eyes, I'm here to tell you these aren't your "cheese cubes and Ritz crackers" boxes of wines.   With some of the biggest and best vineyards in Europe and California already boxing their potable spirits, it was only a matter of time before Long Island vineyards joined the trend.  If you don't believe me, check out this article from Edible East End ... it's worth the read!

 So remember, stay warm be careful on the icy roads and remember to top that box to get the last drop!  Cheers!

YEEEEE GADS! It's Already August 8th! A FEW THINGS YOU NEED TO DO BEFORE LABOR DAY!

In case you were sleeping, it's now August and it's full throttle here on the East End.   But unlike Summer when I was 12 years old and it lasted forever, the season seems to fly faster and faster.     But before you get to entrenched with sitting on Route 27 for hours on end or waiting an extra 40 minutes at virtually any restaurant for your table, please make sure to remember why you're out here in the first place.  You're here to enjoy the beach, the water, the sun and snarking at the overdressed families at Scoop Du Jour on Tuesday nights!   So here are some of my favorite things to do while the sun is still high.  If you do, you might actually thinking spending all of the money to be in the Hamptons was worth it!

A Beach Dinner - While you could use one of the numerous "Claws" or "Clam" companies to caterer your affair... and yes its one heck of a presentation... I prefer to hit Citerella and get some dishes and salads to go.    A big blanket and some nice chilled....errr...errr... "seltzer water" because wine on the beach is not allowed make for a really fantastic evening.  You'll may also want to wait till after 6 p.m. so that way you can start a nice little beach bonfire and there are some rules for that too (click here) for East Hampton and (here) for Southampton.    But there is nothing more relaxing and memorable then the sound of the surf, the sand and an amazing light show above!  My personal favorite is Wiborg Beach!   The parking lot is small so there aren't as many other picnickers.

Biking Shelter Island - A few weeks ago I was talking to some local police officers about living in the Hamptons.  One thing they said they would never do during the season is go bicycling!  Yes, the local walk in clinics are making a fortune from cyclists getting clipped by texting busy summer drivers.    Perhaps that's the reason why I prefer heading to Shelter Island for biking.     In fact, Sag Harbor Cycle Company runs a group ride every Sunday at 7:30 am.  It's a perfect time to go before the roads get flooded with cars and the gang that runs these things know the safer routes and the roads less traveled.   If you want more information, visit their website and NO TEXTING AND BIKING!

Go Paddeling - It's about the water people, not about seeing the people that live down the hall from you in the city at spin class!  Its a great work out and think about it, unless you love getting a gamma globulin shot do you really want to fall into the east river?   There are some great companies out here that will rent you kayaks or paddle boards and even give you a lesson.     The calm waters of Shinnecock Bay or Georgica Pond are two local favorites.     If you want more details on who and where, try Main Beach Surf Shop in Wainscott or Adventure PaddleBoards in Southampton.

Take the Dogs to the Beach -  Did I mention that my dogs Bella and Russell love the beach?!  Hmmmmmm.... I'm not sure.  Do your homework and find what times your furry friends are allowed to run the surf!  Also remember to clean up and bring some treats in case they go chasing some delicious piping plover!


Now get off the damn computer and go outside!!!!

Hamptons Multiplicity.... Directions Appreciated! Plus, Annie Hall Hits the Hamptons!

When I first moved out here, I lived on Three Mile Harbor Rd. in East Hampton, I mean Drive... actually it was Road!  Well that is exactly my point.   There's a song by U2 called "Where the Streets Have No Name" but I sing a different tune here in the Hamptons.   It's called where the "Where the Streets are Named Same!"  

This particular problem was such a dilemma at my old house, Amazon Packages went to the address on Three Mile Harbor Drive and the group house there enjoyed my dvd copies of "Super Size Me" and the Star Wars box set!   It also was the cause of me nearly hitting a 4 ton boulder when a delivery meant for Drive ended up at my house on the Road and I plowed down my flag lot going 40 miles an hour (yes, too fast I know).    It also was also responsible for one of the greatest surprise of my life..... a new BMW convertible.    It was also a huge disappointment when said convertible was quickly picked up for the charity event on Three Mile Harbor Hog Creek (all true).    Doesn't everybody want to live on a road called Hog Creek?   I mean its almost as glamorous as saying I live on Swamp Road with my own cement pond.  

I know addresses for a living and even I find it confusing.  So while giggling about the drunken visitors with cab drivers that need a good two hours to make it from Bobby Van's to their rented house on Hildreth ("no, it's the one with cedar shingles and a pool in the backyard!"),  I started thinking, what are some of the most confusing addresses on the East End?     So, consulting my HC board of distrustees I threw the question out, "what are some of the most confusing common street names in the Hamptons?"    While I'm here to give you the results of my inquiry, let me first say if you live on a street named after a tree, you're already screwed.  Also, if you're going to any location in the Hamptons, make sure you get some cross streets for your GPS.  Because if you try calling from the car, odds are you won't get a cell signal anyway!  So here they are in no way a thorough or scientific analysis; the more confusing addresses/street locations in the Hamptons where if you are hosting a party there.... give directions!

THE TREE STREETS:  Oak -17 Streets in Southampton and 7 in East Hampton, Cedar - (including Points, Views etch) 18 streets in Southampton and 6 in East Hampton, Pine - 23 in Southampton and 4 in East Hampton.

THE OLD FAMILY STREETS: Hildreth - (not including the stores) 9 streets in Southampton and 2 in East Hampton.    Halsey -10 in Southampton and 0 in East Hampton (I guess they couldn't get a table at the old Della Femina) and Gardners - 4 in Southampton and 5 in East Hampton.   Luckily there are only one Tony Tiska's Path and Uncle Leo's Lane in all the Hamptons.

THE WATER STREETS: Bay - 24 in Southampton including the views and 12 in East Hampton, Ocean - 9 in Southampton and 8 in East Hampton, Beach - 8 in Southampton and 7 in East Hampton.

THE LOCATIONS: Middle - 5 in Southampton and 3 in East Hampton, Northwest - 1 in Southampton and 3 in East Hampton, Main - 3 in Southampton and 5 in East Hampton.

My suggestion for each town is to sell off the duplicate street names to corporate sponsors and lower our taxes.   But please for goodness sake, I will never live on Walmart or Chick-fil-A Boulevards!

My Autographed Coy!!!

Finally, some good celebrity news on the East End.   Sources tell me actress Diane Keaton's recent book signing at BookHampton was a smashing success!  Not only did the actress stay and sign every copy of "Let's Just Say it Wasn't Pretty," she was also hugging and posing for photos and laughing it up with the fans and staff of the store.    I never met Diane Keaton but always wanted to get the chance.   It's so nice to hear about somebody so accomplished taking time to say hello to the average Joes.... If you can call Hamptons residents "average Joes."  

17,500 Reasons why the Kardashians Kame to the Hamptons.... plus it's Totally 80's Time at the Talkhouse!

The Klassiest Kids in Town!? 

In case you've been living under a rock the Hamptons are buzzing with the comings and goings ... or should I say Komings... ugh... no ... comings and goings of the Kardashians.   If you don't believe me go to Google and search "Kardashian Hamptons" and you'll get about 17,500 news articles come up.   Meanwhile search "Hamptons Deer Cull" and you get 2 articles.   I'm so glad we have our priorities straight! Anyway, while you read about "13 Hot Spots Too Classy for the Kardashians" or even "9 Things to Know about their Summer in the Hamptons,"   I'm going to add one more tid-bit to the mix.   I'm hearing via the grapevine that producers for the show..... are not only asking to see if they can shoot in local restaurants and get all the patrons to sign releases but that they're also allegedly asking to get it for free!      Their claim is that their show has done a lot to help businesses increase traffic and everyone should be thrilled to have KK-K shoot in their restaurant.    SO, how is it going?   My sources say not so good.   The "K's" are going after spots that are already hot and don't need "Z" list celebrities to promote their business.   Think about it, do you really think the Hamptons A list need an endorsement from the Kardashians?    I'm sure Jerry Seinfeld and Gwyneth are both waiting with baited breath to see where they've decided to dine!   By the way, let's also be real here.. .they're living in NOYAC.... not Southampton... I'm dying to know if they've made it yet to Cromer's for some fried chicken or mac and cheese!?      

In honor of throwback Thursday, I'm doing a little plug for Stephen Talkhouse this weekend.  One of the best and underrated bands from the 1980's is playing tomorrow night.   Yes, the English Beat featuring Dave Wakeling is coming to town.   I've seen the band here a few times over the past few years and in a way, it's kind of a perennial.    Playing all their hits including "I Confess, Mirror in the Bathroom, Save it for Later" and even a few General Public songs (Wakeling was basically the heart of both bands), the show is amazing.  I think I'm too old to go to an arena and see anyone.     But the intimate setting of The Talkhouse makes for a really memorable night.    You can buy tickets here ahead of time and in case you don't know the band, here's one of my favorite songs by them... trust me you should go!

Summer Showdown Part 1.... Time to Pencil the Calendar with the Best Benefits!

A worse Saturday night Janis Ian never imagined!

Guys, I hate to break the news to you but in spite of the temperatures, Memorial Day is right around the corner.    So while you're thinking it's time to trade in your Spanx for that moo moo you might want to also starting contemplating how your calendar is shaping up.    I mean really, nothing is worse for your social standing than having an open calendar!   So, if you don't want to spend your early summer nights driving through the Burger King in Southampton, please consider going to these fun events and supporting their great causes!   I also did you the favor of giving you links to buy tickets for each event, just click on the event name!

Edit Windsor hosts the GLBT Network on 5/24.

Kicking it all off on 5/24/14 GLBT Services Network Summer Kickoff -  A newcomer to the Hamtons, "The Network"  offers a community center that serves as a safe place with counseling and various services for members of the community and most importantly of all, at risk youth.    The kickoff event will start at 2pm and is hosted at the Southampton home of Edie Windsor who you may or may not know was the driving force for the fall of the DOMA.   Tickets are reasonably priced at $75 now, $125 at the door.  The best reason to go:  It's early in the day plus you get your chance to potentially meet the woman who could be considered the Rosa Parks of this generation.   Potential reason to skip it:  Probably not the best benefit for single women looking to meet the man of their dreams. But hey, you never know!   So after you had your first round you can head to..... 

 The Miracle House Summer Kickoff - Miracle House is a non-profit extended stay facility that provides housing, counseling and support for those seeking treatment in NYC and need assistance.   The location is the Bridgehampton Surf an Tennis Club.. and this is a huge event.  While it started as an AIDS charity and therefore has a strong guy following,  it benefits everyone from young to old with any illness.  Tickets start at $300 and go up!  The best reason to go: Great atmosphere with a fun crowd and since most of the boys shame their friends that eat those puff pastries and pigs-in-the-blanket, there's plenty of food!  Potential Reason to skip it:  You get shunned for eating the puff pastry!  But hey, I can live with being shunned.  Now pass that tray!

Fresh Air Home Sale and Auction Benefit Gala!

6/7/14 Southampton Fresh Air Home Sale and Auction Benefit Gala - Southampton FAH provides a camp experience for physically challenged youth with sailing, swimming, hiking, etc.   The benefit is held at their facility on Barkers Island Road in Southampton  It's one of the more mellow benefits of the season but it's a who's who's mixer for everyone in Southampton.   Tickets once again go for $300 and up.   The best reason to go:  The furniture in the silent auction is amazing stuff... plus it's some of the best people watching ever!   Yes, people really do wear bright yellow pants with lime green tops! Potential reason to skip it:  The best auction items here go early and these are not TJ Maxx prices but hey it's for a great cause!  

6/21/14 The Ellen Hermanson Foundation Summer Solstice - Hosted at the Southampton home of

Chuck and Ellen Scarborough host Summer Solstice.

Chuck and Ellen Scarborough, the event offers cocktails and some of the best bites around!   Tickets are starting at $300.  The foundation is a grassroots organization that has become a truly amazing success story promoting women's health issues through awareness and providing counseling and medical services on the East End.  The best reason to go:  When was the last time you were invited to Chuck and Ellen Scarborough's house?  DUH!   Potential Reason to Skip It:  No you can't stay overnight! Chuck and Ellen will be asking you to leave their house after the event!


6/28/14  American Heart Association's Heart of the Hamptons - The Heart of the Hamptons Ball has raised over $2.5 million for the American Heart Association since it began 15 years ago.   The event is held at the Hayground School in Bridgehampton on Mitchell’s Lane.  Tickets start at $175 for after dinner party tickets and $500 for cocktails and dinner.    The best reason to go:  Great star spotting at this event...this year journalist Rita Cosby is emcee and everyone from Rudy Guiliani to Christie Brinkley have been spotted here!  You may even see some Z listers like Star Jones too! Potential Reason to skip it:   Lot's of great music and dancing on a hot summer night equals lots of sweaty and ruined expensive outfits!   It's not pretty!