Are Short Term Rentals Harming The Hamptons... and I FINALLY got toTopping Rose!!

So the Hamptons are more crowded this year than last.  But yet, everyone from shop keepers and especially real estate agents (talking rentals) are saying that business is off.   One thing I always do when I take my stroll around town trying to look better dressed than the next guy, I always ask shop owners "how was your season?"   The response I keep hearing "not great."    But it's so crowded, which leaves me wondering what gives!?     Well some folks are blaming the increasing popularity of those short term rental websites for the problem.       For example, you can rent a house in Southampton from a website called Marquis for a nightly rate of $1,100 a night even though this is in violation of town code which requires a minimum of 14 days.     So, according to some there lies the problem.    You have a house which advertises an occupancy of 12 people each essentially paying $100 per person, they're not the types who are going to be spending money about town in the shops and restaurants.     By the way, I like that the Hamptons are becoming more accessible to folks who wouldn't normally be able to visit but by allowing overcrowding in houses it's more like a spring break location than quiet escape from city living.    What do you think?

Finally,  I got the chance to visit the new Topping Rose by Jean Georges last night and I can say is it was worth the wait.  Although the reservation lines need some fixing... about 45 minutes of holds, hang ups and transfers... the total experience was great.   The menu is unpretentious with everything from an amazing mini pizza to a terrific kale salad and a really solid cheese burger.    Service was solid and entrees arrived within a half hour of ordering.  I had the penne with meatballs and thought they were over the top awesome.   My dinner guests ordered the burger and the salmon, each earning a thumbs up from each.   I also recommend the heirloom tomato salad which right now is on the tail of being in season so go try it now.    This is a huge step up from last year's outing by Tom Coli
cchio.   

RENTING IN THE HAMPTONS THIS SUMMER? READ THIS FIRST....

Yes, the summer season is approaching quicker than a new Kim Kardashian nude selfie.    But while I'm getting ready by practicing defensive driving techniques others are busy lining up their rentals for the Memorial Day to Labor Day pilgrimage to the east end.     Oh, yeah and I'm helping them rent those houses.... I'm the number one rental agent in the Hamptons*.... didn't I tell you that?!   (*based upon stats that I won't disclose and that are collected by me).     But before you can say grab the rose wine and beach blanket, there are a few things you might need to know.      Here once again with my perennial video about the obligations of renting a house in the Hamptons is my friend Rob Disario.





One thing Rob didn't mention in the video is renters are also required to get their own insurance when residing in their temporary home.   Recently,  I had the chance to ask John Wallace of Amaden Gay Insurance about some of the more important points of why this is necessary.....

Protect yourself when the burglar comes to town!

1) Is it really necessary to get renter's insurance?

I would always tell summer renters to get their own policy. The average cost is about $300-$500.00 /year. It would cover them for the personal contents and liability for at least $500,000 or more depending on the coverage they select. It would also cover them for loss of use and personal contents they brought to the home. This would cover them if for some reason due to a loss they could not stay in the home they rented they could rent another place and the insurance company would pay for it.  This cover them for most everything for a fraction of the rental cost. What is the big deal if they spend $30,000 for a rental or $30,400 to be totally protected? They can always cancel the policy afterward and get probably half their money back.

2)  What else can be covered with renter's insurance? 

All renters should check with their current homeowner or renters to see what they are covered for. They can also extend liability to the address they are renting for about $50-$100.00 and would be covered by their primary homeowner’s liability.   Some companies give you coverage up to 10% of your contents away from home but you have to check with your carrier. This is the minimum they should do and is subject to their primary homeowners deductible.

3)   Any advice for landlords?

Landlords who are renting their home should check with their carrier about renting as well. Most companies are ok with a one or 2 month rental but not much more than that. They will not cover multiple tenants with weekly rentals.  Also theft will not be covered if you rent your home in the summer. Most allow up to two different tenants maybe three but that is about it. Otherwise you are looking at a situation where you may void the contract.

If you have additional questions, you can try reaching John at Amaden Gay Agencies in East Hampton 631-324-0041 or go online www.amadengay.com

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SUMMER RENTERS... PLUS HOW TO PLAN FOR YOUR NEXT HAMPTONS BEACH PARTY!

Summer '15... few takers?

As we come to the end of the summer of '15, there seems to be a reoccurring topic of conversation among home owners, agents and pretty much everyone.    "Was it a good rental season?"   Well the answer in a nutshell is "no."    In fact, I have had a number of homeowners ask me, why their home didn't
rent.   If you're one of the many who've uttered those words you're not alone.   I'm not sure if it was because of all of those short term rental sites or more folks are buying and building.  I've heard both theories.  What I do know... in the opinion of this humble agent was it was not as active as years past.   But it wasn't just me.  In fact, I meet monthly with a group of about 25 top agents from a cross section of all the real estate companies and regions.   At our last get together someone raised the question, "who thought this was a good rental season?" Unfortunately not one person raised their hand.   What I think this means is next year, look for an adjustment in some prices and landlords being a bit more accommodating in cutting a deal.   If you found otherwise, feel free to let me know.

One of my favorite things to do this time of year is to hit the beach in the early evening with some friends and enjoy the sand, the fresh air and the surf... and I don't mean on your smartphone.   You only have a few weeks left of Summer '15 so here's one way to make it special.     But before you lug your blankets, food and friends Wiborg or Fowler, make sure your know the rules.   Hello?!  Like you didn't think there were rules.... it's the Hamptons, there are rules for everything.

There better be a container under there!?

In case you haven't been paying attention, new laws went into effect that require beach fires in East Hampton town be lit in a metal container, similar laws were already in effect for Southampton and East Hampton village.   In Southampton Village, you need a permit  to light a bonfire.   For the most part no permits are necessary on the other beaches but as I said, you need to clean up... keep it contained... and have some buckets of water handy.   You're of course responsible for putting out the fire and cleaning up afterwards.   Also, don't try to light that fire before 6pm, it's a no-no.

As for a little Rose for that perfect summer beach dinner party, you'll need a permit if you're inviting over 50 people.    Also, open containers of alcohol are prohibited across the board but you can get a special permit for catered events and parties.   Pets are also allowed after 6pm at most beaches.   If you want more information for each local town... check out the links below and have fun.   But remember, not too much fun it's the Hamptons.

EAST HAMPTON TOWN
EAST HAMPTON VILLAGE
SOUTHAMPTON TOWN
SOUTHAMPTON VILLAGE

WARNING... BEACH PASSES ARE GOING FAST.... REAL ESTATE ACTIVITY AND A BRIEF RESTAURANT UPDATE!

So my Monday Morning Market Report is on Wednesday Friday this week.   Get over it.  I'm' not

You have to be kidding Bill?

running the train or the Jitney here.   Well, not that being on time matters for the Hampton Jitney.   The reason is we finally had a decent weekend where we didn't have 3 feet of snow or freezing rain.   I was busy. Once again I've spoken to my cadre of experienced brokers (about 10 in all from various companies and office) and they've given this weekend a "B-" rating.    While it still hasn't reached "the kind of traffic we should have this time of year", things are definitely picking up.  Rental inventory continues to remain good but there is a pent up demand according to many - potential tenants have been making inquiries but haven't taken the trek out here to seal the deal.   Look for that to change in the next few weeks.   A few attorneys have also remarked to me, that they are now feeling the effects of the arctic blast from a few weeks ago and things are quiet.   Meanwhile, Bill Evans on channel 7 WABC says we are in for another blast of winter this weekend, so pull that parka back out of the closet...  you're going to need it this weekend. Agents and brokers, get ready for all of the cancellations!

Please keep the chicken pot pie on the menu and bring back the guacamole!

Meanwhile, the clock is ticking for Beach Passes thanks to people buying them online.  Make sure you do so soon.  Sources told me they're selling like hot cakes and they're already 2/3 of the way to being sold out!   It might not seem like it's beach time yet but believe me it will be here before that next wrinkle on my your forehead!  Click here if you want to get yours now!

Finally, some quick restaurant updates!  There is a new tenant getting set to move into the former
Georgica Restaurant in Wainscott.   Rumor around town is it's going to be Italian and it's a restaurant
already here in the Hamptons..... Hmmmmmm.   Anyone know? There's been a ton of cars in the parking lot lately and seems there may be some renovations taking place.

Also, Highway Diner is doing some major renovations and will be reopening sometime in the next 3 weeks.   I'm not sure if the menu will be changing but the interior is undergoing a few changes to make it a little more "homey."

WEEKEND UPDATE... THE LAZARUS OF LINGUINI... & BEACH PERMIT LINKS!

How cold is it out there?  Well if you're like me you've been glued to local news for "Snowpocalypse 15, The Blizzard of 15 and the This Winter Sucks 15" special coverage.   Yes, if all of those negative numbers on the screen are giving you flashbacks to your Calculus 101 class, you're not alone.     While the media contuinues scaring the bejeezus out of everyone there is the reality of icy roads and un-shoveled walkways.   With that in mind, it's no surprise that action on the East End was very quiet this past President's Day Weekend.   In fact, even a Valentine's Day over the weekend wasn't enough to keep restaurant and business owners happy.   The real estate market was much the same this past weekend. A fair amount of action but it would have been better if it didn't snow!   In spite of article after article about how "all the good Hamptons summer rentals are gone,"  renters and buyers still weren't willing to put on their boots and trek through waist high drifts to see properties.     I also noticed a slight dip in web traffic this past week maybe due to nobody thinking "beach" when frost bite is imminent.   Maybe everyone was busy with Valentine's Day or going to see "Fifty Shades of Grey."     Either way, my cadre of brokers and agents gave this past weekend a solid "C."  Here's hoping for a big thaw and warmer temperatures soon.

Doppio.... Last spring

Meanwhile, rumors of the death of Doppio in Sag Harbor have been greatly exaggerated. I for one thought it was pretty much D.O.A. by the end of last summer.   But, according to very reliable sources, the Italian eatery which got off to a promising start last summer is coming back for a second season!     The windows which are currently covered with paper will be peeled back and service will continue for the handful of dedicated customers.   So where did Doppio go wrong last year and how can they make it this season?   The biggest complaint I heard was not about the food but rather the service was terrible.  I guess in my encounters, I always thought there is better food in town with better service... so why bother.    Here's hoping they pull it together for next year.

Yep... the snow may be deep but you better start thinking about getting your beach permits before you're stuck going to Asbury Park.   Below are the links you'll need for enjoying fun in the sun this coming summer!

Beach Permit Links!

East Hampton Village Beach Permits

East Hampton Town Beaches

Southampton Town Beaches

Southampton Village Beach Permits

VALENTINE'S DAY IDEAS IF YOU WANT TO BREAK UP.... PLUS, SNOW....AGAIN... SO RELAX.

Doesn't this scream romance? Murph's

Happy Valentines Day Weekend everyone!    It's that time of year when every newspaper and blogger in the Hamptons has ideas about romantic getaways and where to go.   But where do you go when you want to break up? Forget the romance ambiance of 1770 House or East Hampton Grill, take your date to one of these notable locations and you'll be sure to be single by Monday!

Murphs, Sag Harbor - It's not that the place isn't good.   But there is absolutely nothing romantic
about this place.  It's loud, it's packed and the idea of having a quiet conversation with any sort of privacy is out of the question.    The only way anyone gets romantic there is if the beer goggles are so tight you become oxygen deprived! 

Village Hardware, East Hampton - Here's the way this one goes down.    You buy two tickets to see "Fifty Shades of Grey" at the matinee or 4:00 pm show.   You then promise a nice early romantic dinner after the movie.   After suffering through aforementioned movie, you remark how "hot" you got during the Hardware Store Scene(above).   You stroll over to Village Hardware so you can buy "a few things."   When you get to the store, head right to the staple guns!  If your date hasn't already disappeared then maybe you should.   RUN!

The front door is only a few more feet!

Harlow, Sag Harbor -  Who doesn't love a nice romantic location!?    Yes, they're closed for the season.... but if you order this weekend maybe you'll get your entree by Memorial Day Weekend.   If you want to actually try to have food, stop by the IGA first for two sandwiches and a small bag of Sun Chips.   It's all about the view right... frost bite or not!

Now for the other part of the weekend that has everyone in a tizzy.   The projected 6'' of snow we're
supposed to get this Saturday night into Sunday.  This comes hot on the tail of a  reported "frenzy" for seasonal rentals.   As I said on Monday, so many drives and walkways are covered with hard packed ice, many sellers and homeowners are blocking showings to protect against a potential lawsuit.   Yes some good homes were rented already last fall or by the renters with good snow boots but inventory is still good.     So, don't believe the hype... sip your hot chocolate, relax and have a wonderful Valentine's Day Weekend!    Hopefully you won't be going to Village Hardware or Murph's! 

MONDAY MORNING MARKET REPORT.... HAMPTONS WEEKEND ACTIVITY!

One of the first questions I get asked every week is "how busy was the weekend?"   Here in the Hamptons, the real estate market (IMHO) really sees most of it's action Thursdays - Sundays.   It makes sense since we are a secondary home market that most buyers come on the weekends to take a look.   That being said, I'm going to try on Monday mornings to quarterback the weekends activity!   I mean we all get those market reports but in a world where everyone wants instantaneous information this is my attempt to satisfy that need.    From now on every Monday I'll be posting my "MONDAY MORNING MARKET REPORT."

The results of this little "report" are not very scientific but I'm trying to make it as accurate as possible.   It is compiled from a cross section of about a dozen broker and agents from different companies and all have more than 5 years in the business and have at least a hand full of listings and are actually earning a living.    It's a "Hamptons Chatter" exclusive and hopefully more accurate than a Brian Williams special report broadcast but not quite as detailed as PBS' Newshour.

The weekend of February 6th-8th has traditionally (this time of year) been a slow to moderately busy weekend for Hamptons real estate and this year was pretty much on par with last.    While Internet traffic has been steadily increasing with a a big bump back on MLK weekend, the cold and icy weather put a damper on actual showings and appointments.   Homes with un-plowed drives and walks covered with snow made it difficult for buyers, renters, sellers and agents.     Some agents have also mentioned homeowners concerns with liability issues over icy and dangerous walkways.


Rental traffic has also been effected by the bad weather.   While there is still ample rental inventory, homeowners are choosing to hold out for whole season rentals before breaking down to monthly terms due to the slow traffic.    We can also expect to have more rentals to be added to the market as agents continue to update from 2014.

The above factors have impacted overall activity and influenced it's grading as a "C" weekend.  This is on a grading system of "A" being extremely busy and an "F" being dead as a door nail.   Look for a jump next weekend as the President's Day Holiday has traditionally been a busy time for everyone on the East End.

Meanwhile, since so many Hamptonites have been hunkered down and snowed in more times than not these past few days,  I have a suggestion that will make that time in front of the fire and flat screen a little more bearable.   Why not grab a box of wine?   Yes, a box of wine.    But before you roll your eyes, I'm here to tell you these aren't your "cheese cubes and Ritz crackers" boxes of wines.   With some of the biggest and best vineyards in Europe and California already boxing their potable spirits, it was only a matter of time before Long Island vineyards joined the trend.  If you don't believe me, check out this article from Edible East End ... it's worth the read!

 So remember, stay warm be careful on the icy roads and remember to top that box to get the last drop!  Cheers!

It's D-Day #1 in the Hamptons... What it Really Costs to Operate on the East End!

Just in case you didn't know, today is D-Day in the Hamptons for real estate agents (the second D-day is the first Friday in August).   It's the day when most of the seasonal rentals move into their houses.    While many tenants get confused and call it "check in," I'm here to remind them that renting a house is not like checking into a hotel and your real estate agent isn't a concierge.   But while I'll no doubt get a few calls this weekend complaining about broken toasters, lousy towels and confusing pool heaters... and yes I will try to answer them...  there is something I won't have to deal with this season.   It's the sticker shock from what it costs to operate a Hamptons home!    Why?  Because my mantra to every tenant is you're essentially owning this house for the next few months and that means you're going to have to pay for it!

So what does it cost to operate a home during the summer season on the east end?   I'm going bare bones here but let's take a look:

They charge more to wear this!
lingeriediva.com

1) Maid Service - most rental contracts require the tenant to hire a maid and clean the house once a week.   Some landlords insist you use their current housekeepers (aka spies) in order to keep the house in the same order as when the tenant walked in the door.  So let's figure 8 hours once a week at an average rate for housekeepers of $20 per hour.  Add $160 to the weekly cost and we're off and running up that tab!

2) Lawn Service - Unless you're willing to pull that cord on your Briggs and Stratton you'll have to fork over a few bucks to maintain that lush green Hamptons yard.   While some yards are bigger than others (not a Smith's song), I'm going to put the weekly lawn maintenance at about $90 a week.   Some landlords will also require you foot the bill for the gardening but for the sake of erring on the side of caution, we'll omit that pricey little point!

Hey, you like that guy from NCIS?

3) Phone, Internet and cable - I know a large number of my customers, clients and friends choose that "Triple Play" thing from Cablevision.   For the basic package you're looking about $80.00 a month.  While it's not the costliest expense for the summer, if you add those extra movie channels or rent an occasional "pay-per-view"  event or flick it adds up!

4) Pool Service - Sure you can throw some chemicals in the skimmer basket and call it a day but $150.00 per week.   Now, I know you're saying "HOW MUCH?" but
remember this is the Hamptons!  You want you're pool to sparkle... sparkle... sparkle!!! Once again if you're a renter this is usually required in the lease and you'll be responsible to pay for the service plus supplies (chemicals).  

5) The Electric, The Heat and the Rest - Now while this depends a lot on the weather let's put this in a logical way.  If it's hot outside, you're not going to heat the pool and you're going to pump the air-conditioning.   If it's cooler outside, you're gong to open the windows and crank the heat on the pool.   Either way you're going to want to spend the money (unless of course you're my father who would never turn on the air conditioning unless it was 95 degrees) Now I might be a little high here but I don't think I'm totally out of the park.   I'm going to put this somewhere in the neighborhood of $800 a month and that's based on a 3500 s/f house.

Benjamins are required!!! 

Ok, so let's tally this puppy up..... click click click click click click.... change the calculator battery... clack clack clack clack!   Our grand total to own or rent a house out east is about and I say ABOUT... no haters here....  about $2500.00 per month or about $620 a week more or less.     So there you have it and I didn't even include the $100/person pizza dinner at Serafina (which I have a new respect for... went last night and it was really good).    This isn't the Jersey Shore folks!

Speaking of which, the New York Daily News quoted me today and I want to clarify.  I love the Jersey Shore and I've been many times.   I grew up going to places like Margate, Long Port and Long Beach Island.  So when I say people don't want the Hamptons to become the Jersey Shore, I'm talking more about the show then the actual area!      Now, will someone tell my friends from home to stop giving me grief over this!  REMINDER:  I just wrote about how to get rid of house guests (scroll down)!

5 Big Reasons Your House Hasn't Rented... Plus, News from the 31 Flavors!

So we've come to that time of the year when homeowners far and wide start calling real estate offices and saying, "How come nobody has rented OUR house?!"   Well, it's never easy getting to the bottom of the issue but there are 5 points that seem to be the do or die of Hamptons rentals.    I've spoken to agents all over the east end and the common responses seem to be the following....

From badmlsphotos.com MESSY AND DATED!

1) Dated Interiors - Does your home look like a chic clean hotel room or your great aunts house that hasn't been updated since after the Eisenhower administration?! Think about who the people are that rent for the summer season.  It's mostly successful urban professionals who  want clean, modern and easy to maintain interiors.   Expensive rugs, white sofas and antique end tables may all look great but they scare the heck out of potential tenants who fear losing money (security deposits).   Just think about it this way, if you were checking into a hotel and it looked like your house, would you wan to stay there?    If not, go to Pottery Barn and get yourself some new digs.    It may not be everyone's bag but it's what rents!

2) Smells - Everyone loves the smell of "home" but if that involves wet dog or cigarettes, I can guarantee you nobody is going to want to rent your house.    But that doesn't mean if you're a dog lover (like me) or a smoker (like my dog) your out of luck.    Call a local carpet cleaner and have both the rugs and furniture done.    It's also not a bad idea to cook some cookies before showing the house.    It's not about the smell, although it don't hurt.  It's really about the cookies.  Brokers and agents always like to eat and when they're happy the potential renters are happy (Hint: Chocolate Chip)!

Man's best and smelliest friend!

3) Access - Make it easy for agents to show your property.     Be ready to show your house at any time or any day.    Thursday's between 1-4 while good for you might not work for most agents.    Renting a home is going to be a bit of a task, you're going to have to keep it clean while showing and be ready at a moments notice.   There's a reason why you're getting that big check, nothing in life is that easy!    If your really want to promote your house, think about hosting a weekend open house to encourage easy showing.

4) Be A Fair Landlord - Here's something you might not have thought of but agents in the Hamptons talk to each other!  Now, how is that going to effect your chances for renting?   Well if last season you involved the agent in a war over a $2000 deduction for a broken coffee cup, odds are you're a marked man or woman!    As I said in a previous blog, document the condition of your home but don't look for the deposit to be an income generator!   There are landlords who have a reputation for being unpleasant and difficult and agents avoid showing these homes like the plague.    So you want a few names?  You'll have to buy me a drink first! HA!

5) Price - ahhhhh the last and most important item on the list.   As a builder once told me on the east end, "there's a butt for every seat.... it just depends on how much they're willing to pay for the chair."
You're house doesn't have to look like something from Architectural Digest but then again don't ask the same price of the house that really was in the magazine!   If you're curious about what price to ask for a summer rental, my generic rule of thumb has always been 3.5% to 5% of the value of the home for Memorial Day to Labor Day with August garnering half of that amount.     Now, I know not every agent or broker will agree with the formula but I've always found it's a fairly good place to start.

Finally, speaking of open houses... yes I mentioned them in paragraph 3.... My best friends sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who spoke to the broker at the 31 Flavors last night who told me they heard I really don't give out the I-
Pads at my open houses.  Well I have news for you... yes I do!   I always say agents show what they know and it's my job to get them there!  That's my promise to my sellers.  One thing that I've found that works is a good "give away."   So don't believe me ask Peter Moore of Corcoran, Mary Slattery of Corcoran, Ann Ciardullo of Sotheby's, Nancy Howell of Corcoran or Justin Agnello of Douglas Elliman among others.... It's the real deal!   So as for the gossip monger at the 31 Flavors,  "You're still here?  It's over.. it's over.  Go Home!"

LINK-O-RAMA! Get Your Hamptons Beach Passes Right Now!

The Hottest ticket avoid-er around!

I recently mentioned to a friend that I had posted all the links to get East Hampton Village, EH Town, Southampton Village and SH Town beach permits.   "Where did you post it?"   In my latest blog!  "I didn't see that and I read it!"  After interrogating said friend with a "True or False" quiz about Hamptons Chatter, I knew they were telling the truth!   But apparently this person along with everybody else never scrolled down to the bottom of the page.   Sheesh, ( singing "or by a comma when the feeling is not as strong!") You people are l-a-z-y!   So here they are again in all their internet glory.  By the way, a little bird told me they've already sold about 1/3 (1000 of the approximate 3000) of the permits!!!!This is getting insane. It's only February and we have a foot of snow on the ground!    Anyway, happy thoughts...I've also included a few links to some recent articles about the Hamptons markets!  Happy Permitting all!

BEACH PERMIT LINKS!

East Hampton Village Beach Permits
East Hampton Town Beaches
Southampton Town Beaches
Southampton Village Beach Permits

NOWS THE TIME TO SNAG THAT SUMMER RENTAL, NY Post:

http://nypost.com/2014/02/12/nows-the-time-to-snag-that-hamptons-summer-rental/

THE NEW RULES OF THE HAMPTONS, Wall Street Journal:

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304428004579355200190620442

HAMPTONS HOUSE: MAKE MINE NEW, NY Times:

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/realestate/hamptons-house-make-mine-new.html?_r=0

The Hottest Hamptons Housewarming Gift…. plus a quick Summer 2014 Rental Guide... AND LINKS TO GET YOUR BEACH PASSES !

The best house warming in the Hamptons!

One thing new comers will discover when they come here is the cell phone service out here is the pits.    I've had both AT&T and Verizon and I don't care what their ads say, both their coverage out here stinks!    From Noyac Rd. to Scuttle Hole Rd to Sagaponack South to the Northwest Woods, getting even one bar from any service is wishful thinking!   Hello, can you hear me now????  NO!    Although this particular condition is particularly handy when listening to boring conversations from friends discussing their latest posting on face book.  "I'm sorry, the signal out here is terrible." 

This is the reason that one of the hottest house warming gifts on the east end, from this agent at least (and a few other smart agents)  is a "micro cell tower." I live in East Hampton outside the village and I was long been frustrated by getting 10 voice messages every time I left my house.   But no more! I fixed that by getting the AT&T 3G MircoCell.   Now in my house I get about 5 bars, where before I got zippo!   The cost was about $150 from AT&T or you can do a quick search on E-bay where you can get them for as little as $99.    I've given several away to friends and customers and it was a hit and for a few a life saver (well not literally maybe more of a social life saver).   I've heard stories about the providers sending the towers for free if you bitch badly enough, but I hate groveling and I'd rather just pay the money and move on!   If you need more details, call your provider and ask them, "can you hear me now?"

This coming weekend for many real estate agents on the east end marks the beginning of the traditional summer rental season.   While summer rentals can start as early as the prior year, most Hampton visitors tend to look east beginning President's Day Weekend.    Well before you trek out here, let me remind everyone that renting out east is a bit different from renting an extended hotel room.      For 3 months a year at least, you pretty much own a house.    Also, unless you're ready to shell out a big hunk of change, odds are you'll be driving your car to the beach rather than walking.     So before you pile everyone into that Plymouth Duster you better make sure you have a parking permit sticker!     Last year, I posted a quick video on the "Ask Elliman" site, to give a good overall introduction to spending their summer at the beach.   I'm posting it again to remind everyone... that along with the links for east town's permit website.   So you can get the ball rolling for Summer '14 in the comfort of your own home.



BEACH PERMIT LINKS!

East Hampton Village Beach Permits
East Hampton Town Beaches
Southampton Town Beaches
Southampton Village Beach Permits



    

Are Rich People trying to Impersonate Me?! I Smell a Scam in East Hampton!

What can I say, it's been busy in the Hamptons lately and this weekend will be no exception, even in the middle of WINTER!   Yes, WINTER... the Winter Warlock is working overtime this weekend; there's snow, the winter Olympics .. very little day light.... 

Winter Winter Everywhere!

and Sag Harbor hosts it's Third Annual Harborfrost.    It's relatively new tradition with fireworks, parties, art exhibits and the locals coming out of hiding to celebrate all things cold and frosty.  But if you really want to know what Harborfrost is really like, let me quote what a friend of mine calls it, "Spring training for St. Patrick's day in Montauk."   Anyway, here is the schedule and web site for HarborFrost 2014!   Go have fun people and be safe!  Also, take heart, EH Village beach passes are now on sale!  Winter will soon be a thing of the past like "Beliebers."

Meanwhile, It's been a weird couple of days.   First, there was the angry man calling from "Microsoft" who wanted me to give him access to my computer, apparently there getting error message from my "windows computer."  As he demands,  "Push the Microsoft Flag key and control," I inquire who exactly he wants to speak to... I mean he has my computer registered in his files, right?    Once again he demands I listen to him but he still doesn't know my name!  If you're really interested, google it apparently it's a common scam.  I actually find these scammers kind of fun to tease, I'm lonely!

Then I got an e mail from someone saying, "I hope you don't mind me e mailing you at this address?   I googled real estate, hamptons and Patrick and I found your business contacts.    Apparently the e mail we've been communicating on has been redacted!"  REDACTED?   I had to look that word up to find out it basically means deleted.  

After I emailed saying, "refresh my memory, what were we talking about?"   The nice gentleman figured out he had been had.     Apparently some clown from god knows where took my photo and my name and proceeded to list a summer rental on Air BNB for a home on Lily Pond Lane, East Hampton!!!   Now call me wacky but do you really think anyone who has an oceanfront on Lily Pond lane is going to list on Air Bnb?    Is Jon Bon Jovi or Martha Stewart perhaps impersonating me on the 

The Air BNB ad , I didn't place!!!

Interwebs?  What, can't they just send unwanted pizzas or ring the doorball and run away to the neighbors they don't like?!   I mean this is crazy!!!  Anyway, the nice people at Airbnb.com caught this before me and the ad was taken down.   But how weird is this   (See it below).    So buyer... or renter beware when you're surfing online!     This is almost as weird as when Amex asked me if I bought 10 cases of horse feed in Kentucky!   Besides if you're going to steal anyones identity... I mean really... you couldn't pick someone more glamorous than me!?
Also, don't mind if I rub this in... DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME FOLKS USE A BROKER OR AGENT!

The Hamptons... Debunking the Myths!I

I'll never forget my first visit to the Hamptons back in the mid 80's.    A friend of mine brought me to stay at his parents house which I think was in Southampton.   It was somewhat of a culture shock for me.   I mean I grew up going to the Jersey shore.     Margate, Cape May and Long Beach Island were all I knew of beach living.    So when I first crossed the canal... Yes, that's really where the Hamptons begin.. it was a bit of an eyeopener.

Now that I live out here full-time, friends from near and far have questions about living in our little slice of "heaven."   So along with their requests to visit with friends and friends of friends (I'm sorry, the house is being bug bombed that weekend), come misconceptions about what its really like to be in the Hamptons.   So, today I'm here to debunk the myths and misconceptions about life east of the canal.  Where is Quogue anyway?

It's a movie you idiot!!!  

1)  Myth:  If you're nice to your boss maybe they'll invite you to their beachfront property for the weekend.      

REALITY: Hello McFly, "Weekend at Bernie's" is not real life!   You're not that lucky, your boss isn't going to invite you and he/she probably won't die.   So,  even if you do somehow get an invite it's going to be exhausting butt kissing and sucking up all weekend!   Your boss comes out here to get away... especially from you! It's the truth.  If they liked you even a little they would have invited you already.    I don't care if there was a "Weekend at Bernie's 2" it's just not going to happen!  In fact, if you bumped into them at the Golden Pear they're going to pretend they never saw you before!  I experienced that one first hand from Harry C. years ago.  (I heard he now lives in Michigan and works as an assistant manager at Friendly's, sometimes Karma works!)

2)  Myth: People come to the Hamptons to get mellow, relax and get away from it all.

REALITY: Wait I gotta catch my breath from this one!  MELLOW!!?? RELAX???! GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?     If you've ever been to The Palm on a Friday night in the summer you'll know it isn't true!  The overcrowded lobby where everyone dressed in designer duds is aggressive, pushy and jockeying the host stand as if they were starving and getting free government cheese (not as good as it sounds and not kind of bland tasting).   Not only that it's networking central once you get inside the dining room.    In fact, I was there a few weeks ago with 3 friends and we didn't even talk to each other.    They were talking business deals and I was working the room seeing who wanted to sell!     I always knew good things would come from the 837 Club!


3) Myth: There are palm trees in the Hamptons.

REALITY:  They don't shoot "Revenge" in the Hamptons.    It's shot in California or North Carolina or somewhere.    There are many beautiful trees on the east end, especially Scrub Oak (I'm trying to make them the new "it" thing and improve my property value).   Did I say how spectacular Scrub Oak are in the fall.  They're beautiful in the summer too.  Boy I thing Scrub Oak are THE tree of the super wealthy and stylish.    Call me about seeing my house, it's on the market.  By the way, whatever happened to Conrad Grayson?


4)  Myth:  The celebrities in the Hamptons at all of the benefits are refined and super glamorous! 

The only "Housewife" I want to meet! 

REALITY: I have to quote Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr., "you don't have to be a star baby.... to be in our" benefit.   I have to blame Andy Cohn for this one.   Now, I love you Andy and I'm happy for your success but those housewives are a nightmare!    I am an addict to the History Channel so I've never actually watched a "Real Housewives" of anything.     I know plenty of real housewives and personally most of them really aren't that interesting.   So why do I care about Ramona (who screams at waiters)... or Jill (who abuses real agents (moi) about "over priced" houses which I know she couldn't afford anyway)?    Besides, you can't fool me they're nothing more than Snooky in Pucci dresses.    Classy!    Now, don't get me wrong there are some real Hollywood type celebrities out here; Alec Baldwin, Kelsey Grammer, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jerry Seinfeld and Christie Brinkley (who I swear uses a stylist to go to Yummylicious) that are well dressed and well behaved.   But lately I think they're keeping a low profile on the benefit circuit.  I guess they heard that indicted NJ Housewife Teresa is coming to town.   Although personally, I think I'd kind of get along with that housewife.  I bet she's been to Long Beach Island.

Southampton permits are now on Sale... and a peek at some of those MILLION DOLLAR HAMPTONS RENTALS!

Get cha' permits!

REMINDER OF THE DAY!  Southampton Village beach permits are now on sale!!  The cost is free for residents, $350 for non residents and $250 for "local non-residents."   What you need;  a valid registration for your car and for locals a copy of your tax bill or lease with 2 utility bills.   This will allow you access to park at Coopers Beach, Cryder Lane, Dune Beach (village residents only), Fowler, Gin Lane, Halsey Neck, Roads G and D, Old Town, Wyandanch and Little Plaines Lane.   If you want complete information I suggest you go to the town website.    I'm also including a bonus link to the TOWN of Southampton permit information page!   Oh summer is in the air!

Art is apparently a very good business.   In the latest recorded transfers,

Artist and real estate investor Fischl

artist Eric Fischl has apparently purchased not one, not two, not three but five properties in North Haven.   The properties located in over the river and through the woods total a little over 3 million dollars.   While I have no idea what Fischl and his wife fellow artist April Gornick will be doing with the property located off Ferry Road, I'm dying to know.  If you have any clue fill me in!  Two two have been residents of Sag Harbor for years and both have matching studios here in the Hamptons.  

Well It's May 1st and that means Memorial Day is right around the corner.   In many parts of the country the calendar is marked by the return of various migratory animals.  Here in the Hamptons it's marked by the migration of the summer renters! In case you didn't know, the standard rental period for the Hamptons is Memorial Day to Labor Day.  It's also the time when all of the "masters of the universe" and "glitterati" of tv and film come to rest their weary heads.     Well if you've ever wondered how celebrities like Mariah Carey, Beyonce and others live when they're hanging with Martha, Howard and Puffy... wonder no longer.   I've dug deep and come up with some of my favorite MILLION DOLLAR* HAMPTON RENTALS!






*or rentals that can at least be priced in terms of millions, i.e. 1/4 of a million, 1/2 million, 8/10ths of a million!

Put down the cookie! There's 40 some odd days till Memorial Day!

You bought the beach pass, you have the Vilebrequin, the Herve Legere and the Birkin.    It's official you're ready to hit the beach, as long as you don't have to pass a mirror first.  Yeah, all of those holiday cookies, turkey, ham, brisket and chocolates have finally taken their toll.    Well have no fear, I've done the research for you and if you're willing to put on your sneakers you'll be looking like Keira Knightly after a juice cleanse in no time!

It wasn't that long ago when a new spin studio that I can't remember it's name (unless I read one of my old postings) opened and disappeared faster than the free food at a real estate brokers open house.   This time around Westhampton Beach's CrossFit Hamptons is going into the location.    I stopped by the other day and apparently  classes are already underway.  If you want more details on times and class schedules you can visit their website.   www.cfhamptons.com   If you mention P-11 for some reason they'll even give you a free week.

Also, some of your old favorites are back and ready for the Summer of '13.    I'm getting tired so I'm just going to give you the lowdown on some of the more popular places to work up a sweat on the east end.  In no particular order.....

1) SOULCYCLE - 68 Newtown Lane, East Hampton.   The funky spin classes that you can hear on the street are back again for another season.   www.soul-cycle.com

Best Reason to Go - It's one heck of a workout and the instructors are more like coaches than drill seargents. 

Reason Not to Go - Cult like following.  Friends of mine talk about SoulCyle like it's the Scientology of fitness and that just scares me.

2) FLYWHEEL - 65 Montauk Highway, East Hampton next to the bowling alley.  Also in the Summers at Sag Harbor Gym, 1 Bay Street Sag Harbor.   This is the place with "stadium" bikes where they post your workout on a monitor for all to see.  So if you're looking for mellow workout this isn't where you want to go. www.flywheelsports.com

Best Reason to Go - A great work out and some good celebrity spotting at virtually every class.   

Reason Not to Go - They post your work out on a monitor and that's not fun when you're trying to sweat out the alcohol from the night before!  

3) B East - 199 Main Street, Amagansett.   Call it spinning with a twist or an angle.  B East features "core bikes" which actually turn and twist to give you more of a workout.   I have to admit, they're a little scary at first for the uncoordinated like moi but if you just relax you'll eventually get the hang of it.   www.eastfit.com

Best Reason to Go -  A more casual and fun atmosphere.  Not everyone there is in Lululemon!  

Reason Not to Go - It's next to Mary's "friggin" Marvelous!  A workout doesn't count if you have the amazing tuna salad followed by a coconut cupcake chaser after the class.  Screw the class I'm hungry!

4) Barry's Bootcamp - 352 Montauk Highway, Wainscott. Now I've never been but they have locations everywhere from London to LA.  According to their website "Since 1998, Barry’s Bootcamp has revolutionized group fitness by delivering “The Best Workout in the World” to a legendary following, including many celebrities."   Their gyms also feature "night club lighting, urban décor."  Hmmmmmm... I'm not so sure about that last part.    www.barrysbootcamp.com

Best Reason to Go -   Easy parking in the Wainscott shopping center.   

Reason Not to Go - It's a boot camp!!! 

Finally, everyone has been talking about those two Wall Street guys that were stupid enough to leave notes trying to cut out the broker after being shown properties out east.   Do you really think this is the first time this has happened?

HELPFUL HINTS TO GET YOUR HOUSE RENTED AND AN ENCLAVE UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT!

The summer rental season is officially in high gear EARLY this year.   Normally, it's pretty sluggish around here till Presidents Day weekend but in 2013 we got a very early start, like JANUARY 1st!!    I'm not sure what it is this year that has everyone so gung-ho but it's not just me, all of my friends in the business are saying this is the busiest January they've seen in a long time!   I'm not sure if it's the  economy, the growing popularity of the Hamptons or even the fact so many at the Jersey Shore have been affected by damage from Hurricane Sandy and the Tsunami Snookie!?   It's any ones guest really.  Get it Guest!?   Lame.  Sorry.

So if you're a landlord thinking of renting, here are a couple of hints to help you get that lease signed a little quicker (In no particular order).  And yes, you may think these points are common sense but I've seen a few properties where these simple points could have been really helpful!!!

1) If your house has ash trays of cigarette butts all over the place, empty them and buy a vacuum cleaner.    It's amazing but people don't find the smell of stale tobacco as enticing as they once did.   Unless you're renting to a member of the Rat Pack, most people in fact will find this a turn off.    

2) And speaking of Rat Packs.  If you have a rodent problem, hide the poison or at least resolve the problem BEFORE you want to rent your property.     I know everyone loves a cute pet and a few people even liked the movie "Willard" but honestly,  most rats or even mice give people the heebie jeebies!

3) When a broker comes to your house, please don't tell their potential renters about how horrible the Hamptons are in the summer.   Also,  its not a good idea to elaborate how you hate your neighbors because their kids are in the backyard pool screaming all hours of the day the entire season.     We as real estate agents work for you the landlord but when you talk about all the negatives of your own house, it's not a good thing for us to contradict you.


That being said, for those who don't want to rent a house and just want a quiet weekend out east,  there is a new option.  The 380 Inn, formerly the Enclave Inn which is located on Montauk highway in Wainscott.   As of now, there is no website so local folk will be left guessing changes have been made to this Hamptons staple.

I spoke with the receptionist on the phone and she let me in on a little secret.  The owners of the 380 Inn had actually been managing the Enclave Inn for the past five years and they finally just decided to buy. I know people who have stayed there in the past and enjoyed it, so I'm hoping we'll have more of the same.

According to the old Enclave Inn's website the Hamptons are "considered by many, the Malibu of the East."    Ok, Malibu of the east... minus the tans and the waves but I'm I'll go with it.   There are plenty who enjoy the outdoor lifestyle out here, similar to Malibu.    I just wonder if the bicyclist are as vulnerable on the west coast as they are on 27!!?