Are Short Term Rentals Harming The Hamptons... and I FINALLY got toTopping Rose!!

So the Hamptons are more crowded this year than last.  But yet, everyone from shop keepers and especially real estate agents (talking rentals) are saying that business is off.   One thing I always do when I take my stroll around town trying to look better dressed than the next guy, I always ask shop owners "how was your season?"   The response I keep hearing "not great."    But it's so crowded, which leaves me wondering what gives!?     Well some folks are blaming the increasing popularity of those short term rental websites for the problem.       For example, you can rent a house in Southampton from a website called Marquis for a nightly rate of $1,100 a night even though this is in violation of town code which requires a minimum of 14 days.     So, according to some there lies the problem.    You have a house which advertises an occupancy of 12 people each essentially paying $100 per person, they're not the types who are going to be spending money about town in the shops and restaurants.     By the way, I like that the Hamptons are becoming more accessible to folks who wouldn't normally be able to visit but by allowing overcrowding in houses it's more like a spring break location than quiet escape from city living.    What do you think?

Finally,  I got the chance to visit the new Topping Rose by Jean Georges last night and I can say is it was worth the wait.  Although the reservation lines need some fixing... about 45 minutes of holds, hang ups and transfers... the total experience was great.   The menu is unpretentious with everything from an amazing mini pizza to a terrific kale salad and a really solid cheese burger.    Service was solid and entrees arrived within a half hour of ordering.  I had the penne with meatballs and thought they were over the top awesome.   My dinner guests ordered the burger and the salmon, each earning a thumbs up from each.   I also recommend the heirloom tomato salad which right now is on the tail of being in season so go try it now.    This is a huge step up from last year's outing by Tom Coli
cchio.   

Salsa... Soros... and more!

I've griped forever about how there isn't a good Mexican "sit down" restaurant in the Hamptons.    I've complained and complained.  Yes, I like La Fondita and Sabrosa but I can't really see having a nice quiet dinner at either location.     But this summer, it seems we finally can get the whole enchilada and enjoy it too!

First in Southampton is Union Cantina.   Located at the site of the former Southampton Public House,   the "Cantina" opened in mid-June and has been packing it's tables ever since.   So far, the reviews have been pretty good.   I haven't yet been but FOHC (Friends of Hamptons Chatter) have been telling me the foods pretty solid... not outstanding but good.    The standouts according to my sources are the enchiladas, roasted peach glazed pork and the freshly made salsa.  While the prices are certainly not Taco Bell they're not exactly Nello either.    So based on the word of mouth around town it seems Union Cantina is worth a visit.    If you've been, let me know what you think.

Secondly,  The Blue Parrot in East Hampton has long been a punch line for bad food and bad service in my book forever!  I went a few years ago when it first opened under the new management which includes Jon Bon Jovi and the girl from Jerry Maguire who has a name I can't spell.   The food was overpriced, lousy and served with a snarl from the surly staff.      If that wasn't bad enough they used to have a bouncer there which would have lead you to believe, folks were clamoring to get inside.... and they weren't.   Anyway, for whatever reason I decided to stop by for a visit last week after a hiatus of close to three years.      The first thing I encountered was a friendly staff and no bouncer!     I had to wait while my table was being prepped so I sat at the bar and had a really great margarita... at $15 bucks it was no bargain but the pour was generous and the mason jar/drinking glass was filled pretty high.   

I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I like you!!!

After about 5 minutes, the table was ready and I sat down as fresh tortilla chips and salsa were being dropped off at the table.      That was followed by the house Oaxaca salad and Lime Chipotle fajitas.  While I know fajitas aren't exactly gourmet and probably not the best way to judge the cuisine, I have to say they were really good and served with fresh made corn tortillas.     By the way, yes you can make bad fajitas I should know, I worked at a Chi Chi's in college (for those of you who don't know, it was the Mexican Olive Garden of the 80's).     My partner in crime Peter had the fish tacos which which also garnered a big thumbs up.      The final verdict is that I take back all the negative things I've said in the past about Blue Parrot.    The snarky Go Fund Me page for the chef to take cooking lessons has been taken down and my mea culpa is complete.     So ,  if you've not been to The Blue Parrot in years, take my advice and give it another shot.  

Finally, just in time for August some good news about what makes the Hamptons such a fun place to live.    According to sources, billionaire investor George Soros made a stop with a few friends at the American Hotel in Sag Harbor.   While that's not anything to set rumors flying what happened when the check was delivered is the interesting part.  Apparently Mr. S. (as I call him) paid his hefty check with 4 figures not including cents and added on a 100%+ tip for the staff.     While I haven't been able to confirm this Christmas come early gift from the tight lipped staff at the hotel... my sources are pretty reliable.     Besides, what's so wrong with being nice!?

AUGUST IN THE HAMPTONS... NO RESERVATIONS... NO PROBLEMS... THE BEST GOURMET TO GO!

Yes, it's finally August in the Hamptons.     The water is warm.  The sun is shining.   Traffic is bumper to bumper on 27 with Range Rovers in full bloom.    While SoulCyle's parking lot looks like a WWF pay per view.    But enough about all the things we cherish in the Hamptons during August. Instead lets talk about a major first world problem that so many of us know first hand,  the difficulties with getting a weekend restaurant reservation!

Yes, it's the time of year when 25 minutes turns into 2 hours for a bar table.    It's more than any south of the highway socialite should have to endure.   But luckily for you Paris, Kimye and all of the other society readers of Hamptons Chatter, you don't have to suffer in silence any longer!   Here are a few ideas for getting gourmet meals in your very home without having to stoop to pizza or any sort of wonton that comes in a paper carton.
    

Free form lasagna from JK Chef Collection

1) Call JKChef Collection - 631-460-0010 - started by chef Jeff Purrazzi and Jack Kelly, the service has a stable of top tier chefs that come to you and and will handle the entire meal from soup to nutted apple tare-tatine.   According to Purrazzi, "The process of hiring a private chef is pretty easy.   We normally speak with our clients over the phone and get an overview of the families culinary likes and dislikes...
.... from the formal dining to the beach BBQ.  The key is to match the clients needs to the perfect chef.   Once we do that, we put the two together to create the perfect dinner menu."    Prices vary based on the size of party and the duration of the event.   If you like more information you can visit their website www.jkchefcollection.com or give them a call at 631-460-0010.    Make sure to tell them Hamptons Chatter sent you!

2) Saaz -1746 CR 39 Southampton - 631-259-2222 - Gourmet Indian food that in it's short in town has garnered a large and loyal following.    The location is easy since it's virtually the first restaurant you see as you drive into the Hamptons.    The full menu including a slew of vegetarian dishes is available online and they even deliver to a large chunk of the east end.  So skip the pizza and go for some steamed chicken somos instead!

Salmon Tartare - Fresno

3) Fresno - 8 Fresno Place East Hampton - 631-324-8700 - New American cuisine at it's best.   Head Chef Gretchen Menser's rotating menu of classic crowd pleasers with an epicurean twist is why updated menu and get your tilefish or osso bucco to go!
diners have been lining up at this East Hampton favorite for years.    But the real reason I'm mentioning this here is you can go online, check out the

4) East Hampton Grill - 99 North Main St. East Hampton - 631-329-1955 - Walk right by the crowd at one of the most popular Hamptons restaurants, step up to the bar and grab your grub and get out of there.     Yep, the home of the "heavenly biscuits" will pack your dinner for you to enjoy in your own kitchen.   The menu is available online and updated frequently.    While I'm not sure I would get the oysters to go (a little messy) from the fresh fish, to the roasted chicken and the french dip all are made from scratch daily and travel well.  But most important of all, the clean up is a breeze.

The french dip at East Hampton Grill - ask for horseradish!

5) The Seafood Shop -356 Montauk Highway, Wainscott - 631-537-0633 -   Yes you can buy your shrimp and your fresh fish for home cooking but you can also get a complete dinner on the fly without breaking a sweat.   Lobsters, grilled fish and fresh salads and even a chicken breast sandwich are all on the take out menu.    It's a complete menu available online that is updated with specials daily and diverse enough for even the finickiest of diners.      It might not be fancy but the food is awesome!


So there you have it 5 ideas for the hungry agoraphobic in all of us.

IF YOU WANT TO SPEAK LIKE A HAMPTONS INSIDER... READ THIS!

It's now official, the Hamptons are now the sixth borough.    When you pick up your land line phone, you now have dial the area code for local calls.   It's not that it's a big deal but I kind of think it's the
tipping point for something.  I'm not sure what... but it's definitely a tipping point for something.

New Technology is coming to the Hamptons!

Meanwhile, I never realized it but when you sell real estate on the East End you start to speak a language all of it's own.   A few months ago I started noting the terms I use with some of my other friends in the biz out here to describe the people and places in our humble little neck of the woods.   So here they are in no particular order or significance, additions to the lexicon of selling Hamptons real estate.

TMS or Taj Mahal Syndrome - this is when a home seller thinks their particular property is the best of the best.   Yes, it involves an inflated price tag on their home and total denial of the realities of the market place.    While they love their gilded fish faucets in the downstairs powder room, very few consumers will put a value on such a luxurious fixture.   It doesn't matter how much they cost.  It's really a frustrating affliction for realtors because how do you not insult your sellers while explaining, "everyone thinks your #@#***%  gilded fish are hideous?"

Catfished - this term is actually used more often when discussing Facebook profiles  but can also be used to describe when some customers actually see an advertised listing in person.     Thanks to

Catfished:  photoshopping happens

modern technology and overseas sweat shops, it's easier for property photos to be "enhanced" without spending a fortune.    A gaping hole in the roof?   No problem, it's solved with a click of a mouse and a wave of a pen.   So imagine, the buyers delight when they actually see the house in person!?  They've been "catfished."

A Kobe -  Remember when Kobe Bryant got tangled up in a sex scandal a few years back?  A few nasty headlines and the next thing you know is his wife got a brand new bauble the size of Texas?   Well it happens here too. So, while diamonds are a girls best friend, real estate is many a girls BFF (rings can get lost).   Now, I don't want to sound sexist.  There are more than a few men out there getting their "kobes" too. But while I've also noticed it's usually spouse #2 who gets these 8000 square foot multi-million dollar baubles, there really is nothing wrong with it.    I'm happy to helps someone "kobe" anyone, anytime.

Earhardt - Yes, I've written about this before but a great term is worth repeating.   This one was shared to me by one of our local cab drivers a few years ago.    This is a person who is renting a home in the Hamptons but can't remember where it's located.    A reference to the pioneer and missing aviator Amelia Earhardt.    These particular folks are usually spotted wandering around early in the season on the streets of the east end looking for the cedar shingled house with the pool in the back yard.  

Yes it's fun being here in the playground of the rich, famous and sometime clueless... where we have a lifestyle and a language all our own!

10 GREAT PLACES TO FIGHT THE FLAB IN THE HAMPTONS

Yeah, that's me up top... CENTER!

Summer in the Hamptons ...  a time for sitting in hours of traffic on route 27.   A time for attending overpriced benefits and rubbing shoulders with walking wax figures.   A special time when other annual occurrences like budding flowers, warm breezes the privileged 20-somethings getting sick on the streets of Montauk are common.      It's also that time of year where you get to remind yourself how completely inadequate you look in that bathing suit.  

But before you break out the Barry Manilow and Carpenters albums... remember you don't have to look like the before picture on the back of that comic book.   The east end is a great place to back in shape and stuff that gut into a wild bikini!  

Biking, jogging and back yard swims are some of the easiest ways here to burn the calories and fight the fat.    But if you're like me and require a little more motivation from an instructor or hot gym goer next to you, take note.  Hamptons  Chatter is here with 10 of the best places to workout this coming season.

1) Flywheel Sports - East Hampton located at 65 Montauk Highway and Flywheel at Sag Harbor Gym, 1 Bay Street Sag Harbor.    The original spin studio where some folks can burn over 1000 calories in a single class.    A great place to be seen and see some of the more famous faces of the Hamptons (Broderick, Baldwin, Zellwegger... or you know the girl from Jerry Macguire) including instructor Holly Rillinger who is the star of Bravo's Work Out New York!    Pay by the class or get a membership but no matter what, make sure to book your classes in advance.  

2) Yoga Shanti - Sag Harbor located at 32 Bridge Street.   Get toned, fit and sweat at one of the most noted yoga studios around.    There are classes for everyone from beginner to expert.   Prices vary and there are some famous faces here too.   One of the more frequent and notable patrons is entrepreneur and producer Russell Simmons.    You can pay by the class, package or membership.   It's a good idea to book your classes in advance here as well.    There is also a complete schedule online so check it out.   By the way, if you're looking for something a little less "precious," try Karma Diva in East Hampton.  It's the yin to Yoga Shanti's yang. 

4) East Hampton Indoor Tennis - East Hampton located at 175 Daniels Hole Rd. -  Before you question why I'm suggesting a tennis club let me tell you the average Joe can burn about 700 calories an hour playing tennis.  But if you want something a little more intense check out the tennis aerobics on Tuesday and Thursday mornings at the club.   To say you'll be dripping wet is an understatement.   Pay by the class or become a member the choice is yours.     The staff is friendly and you can play indoor and out.    Click above or here to go to the website.

5) Crossfit Hamptons- Southampton located at 375 County Rd. 39.   Rather than me trying to explain it.. watch an eye candy video about what exactly crossfit entails.        A little bit of this a little bit of that and bodies in motion.    Click here for more details on how to sign up for a Crossfit Hamptons class.



Yeah, that looks easy!!! 

6) Barry's Bootcamp - Amaganett located at 199 Main St. and Wainscott 352 Montauk Highway.   If Xenu started teaching fitness classes... it would be Barry's Bootcamp.   Although it's the new guy in town it's already garnered a cult like following.    In all honesty, I've never gone but my friends who've attended are addicted.   Click here for more details.

7)  Lift Hamptons - Wainscott located at 354 Montauk Highway - A boutique gym located next to the best cookie shop in the Hamptons (Levan Bakery).    I know it seems like some sort of a sick joke but once you pass the temptation you'll find a motivating bright and zen like atmosphere perfect for your morning workout.   Memberships are based on an hourly rate and include one on one training.    Click here for more information.

8 & 9 ) East Hampton YMCA - 2 Gingerbread Lane and Southampton Town Recreation Center - 1370 Majors Path.   Both places have it all but at a fraction of the price of the "other" gyms in town.     There are no celeb siteings but if you want to live like a local and save some money on getting fit.... click here for Southampton or here for East Hampton YMCA.   Fees vary based on residency in both locations. 

10) Truth Training - East Hampton located at 5 Railroad Ave. - Truth Training is a strength based workout, programming and lifestyle series that revolves around the "foundation" exercises.   Think of it as a P90X class right here live in the Hamptons with some of the best and most educated trainers around.     Click here for class schedules and rates.     

Ok, there it is.. 10 Great places to get your body ready for the beach.    Woah, this blog was exhausting.    Now, it's time for my burger, fries and beer at the Corner Bar in Sag Harbor!   Just kidding... off to the basement for my Peloton bike.   I don't want to see any of you losers when I work out!!!   Kidding again.... sort of.  

SOMETHING BREWING IN SOUTHAMPTON... AND PLEASE DON'T TELL ME WHAT ZILLOW SAYS ABOUT YOUR HOUSE!

Something Brewing.. time to change the label!

I can barley stand it!   It has some folks hops-ing mad!   Apparently the spuds will no longer be flowing on Bowden Square.   In spite of an announcement back in October that the Southampton Publick House would be staying put at the current location, word has gotten out that folks will soon have to fasten their beer goggles in a new location.    Since 1996 the brewery and restaurant have been a staple around town but it seems the new building owners have other plans.    According to some local insiders, the location will soon be home to a "high end Mexican Restaurant."     Now if you've ever read this blog before... that's a huge deal for me yet I hate to see an old favorite move to somewhere new.     While the Publick house will go on... like Celine Dion's heart.... it will according to insiders have to be in a new location.   Sometimes a little change will do you good.

Oh is that the blood rushing to your head?

Now for a little advice.   If you want to send any real estate agent's boiling blood further to their head just say the following sentence, "BUT Zillow said my house is worth X!"   It's the bane of many a real estate agent and brokers existence.   In fact, The Los Angles Times  recently tackled the issue of "Zestimantes" (Zillow's estimate) and how many claim they're wildly inaccurate.    In fact, I have to say part of the big problem with Zillow's "formula" is that it can't really take into account factors like condition and location (waterfront, south of the highway, village).    So how inaccurate are these "Zestimates?"  Well the CEO of Zillow was recently quoted as saying they're "a good starting point" and have a "median error rate of about 8%."   Obviously this error rate varies in different markets and Zillow even says so at the bottom of the Zestimates page.     While I couldn't locate the margin in our area, I can tell you that my own personal home fluctuated by about $5,000,000 in a period of 6 months.    Now, I know you think Hamptons Chatter just rakes in the money but the initial high estimate they gave my home
was crazy.   I'd move out in hours if I could get that number tomorrow!    Yep, I would guess their error rate in the Hamptons is a heck of a lot more than a 8%.   It's a big miss in the Hamptons... like an Ishtar big miss!  A "Missestimate" if you will.     So the take away from all of this... talk to an agent or do your homework (Zillow.com is a great source for closed prices) and don't try let some silicon valley geek tell you what your home is worth.   Besides,  how could you put a price on that "Sistine Chapel" painting on your master bedroom ceiling?

MORE MORTGAGE NEWS WITH MELISSA COHN!

A SUPER SUPERMARKET! PLUS, WHERE'S THE "CAN" FROM OUT "CANDIDATES?" YEAH, I KNOW THIS HEADLINE IS TERRIBLE!

No longer just coming soon.. now arrived!

Sometimes my inspiration for this blog comes from the strangest of places.   This particular posting is coming from a very unlikely muse, Marilyn Hegerty who is the restaurant reviewer at the Grand Forks Herald in North Dakota.   At 85 years old she became an internet sensation with her earnest and insightful review of The Olive Garden which burst onto the Grand Forks culinary scene late last year.    So, if Marilyn can review The Olive Garden why can't I review the latest entry into the East Hampton scene?You got it, I'm talking about the new Stop and Shop Supermarket on Newtown Lane.*  

(*could also be substituted with the Stop and Shop nee Walbaum's in Southampton)

After a lengthy wait for Stop and Shop to open in East Hampton*, the moment has finally arrived.  My visit occurred the other day on a busy Tuesday afternoon.    After a long day at the office, I figured a late shopping excursion would be both fashionable and just what the doctor ordered.   Apparently my doctor thinks shopping is good for me.   

The parking lot was bustling with eager patrons as I arrived and while there were limited spaces.   Luckily,  the flow in and out of the store was so constant that it was only a few mere moments before I was able to find an ample space of my very own.   I could feel the excitement as I approached the SELF OPENING front doors that where both swift and convenient for a distracted shopper.     

I was greeted as I entered into the market by smiling and friendly employees who were smartly dressed in purple and dark blue uniforms surrounded by lush, opulent and tempting looking produce. The lighting was bright and cheery and the aisles were clean and spotless, a definite improvement over the old Walbaum's.   I asked one of the managers if they had any gluten free pasta to which he cheerfully responded, "of course in our new organics section!"   They have an or
ganics section!  I then knew I made the right choice to give this Stop and Shop a chance! 

Finally with my pasta in hand I made my way to the check out aisles.   It was a pleasant surprise for me to now find many aisles opened with real human cashiers, also smartly dressed in purple with blue aprons.    The line was fast moving and the staff also told me about the savings I could receive if I filled out a form for a "preferred customer card."   How lovely... I'm preferred and they just met me!

All in all, it's the largest and best lit super market now operating in East Hampton.   It attracts vistors from out of town as well as people who live in East Hampton.    It's a welcome addition to the community and will hopefully get better as they learn the preferences of the community.  So I have to heartily recommend Stop and Shop for your grocery shopping in our humble little hamlet. 

Generic election sign .. so I don't make and MORE enemies!

Speaking of our little hamlet, the election is finally over!   Now, I know it's never a good idea to discuss politics I think it's fair to express my general outrage over the littering.... and I do mean littering of signs everywhere. People always complain about real estate signs but these paper ones are wayyyyy worse.  Besides we can put the same sign every two feet!   If it were up to me, I would actually fine the candidates $10.00 for every sign they leave out after today.   Its bad enough my mailbox was full... and I mean full... like
more stuffed than if Frontgate, Orvis and Restoration Hardware both did  a double mailing for Christmas.  Oh the trees that had to die for such negative and prolific propaganda!   I'm glad it's over and I now have room for my catalogs!

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SUMMER RENTERS... PLUS HOW TO PLAN FOR YOUR NEXT HAMPTONS BEACH PARTY!

Summer '15... few takers?

As we come to the end of the summer of '15, there seems to be a reoccurring topic of conversation among home owners, agents and pretty much everyone.    "Was it a good rental season?"   Well the answer in a nutshell is "no."    In fact, I have had a number of homeowners ask me, why their home didn't
rent.   If you're one of the many who've uttered those words you're not alone.   I'm not sure if it was because of all of those short term rental sites or more folks are buying and building.  I've heard both theories.  What I do know... in the opinion of this humble agent was it was not as active as years past.   But it wasn't just me.  In fact, I meet monthly with a group of about 25 top agents from a cross section of all the real estate companies and regions.   At our last get together someone raised the question, "who thought this was a good rental season?" Unfortunately not one person raised their hand.   What I think this means is next year, look for an adjustment in some prices and landlords being a bit more accommodating in cutting a deal.   If you found otherwise, feel free to let me know.

One of my favorite things to do this time of year is to hit the beach in the early evening with some friends and enjoy the sand, the fresh air and the surf... and I don't mean on your smartphone.   You only have a few weeks left of Summer '15 so here's one way to make it special.     But before you lug your blankets, food and friends Wiborg or Fowler, make sure your know the rules.   Hello?!  Like you didn't think there were rules.... it's the Hamptons, there are rules for everything.

There better be a container under there!?

In case you haven't been paying attention, new laws went into effect that require beach fires in East Hampton town be lit in a metal container, similar laws were already in effect for Southampton and East Hampton village.   In Southampton Village, you need a permit  to light a bonfire.   For the most part no permits are necessary on the other beaches but as I said, you need to clean up... keep it contained... and have some buckets of water handy.   You're of course responsible for putting out the fire and cleaning up afterwards.   Also, don't try to light that fire before 6pm, it's a no-no.

As for a little Rose for that perfect summer beach dinner party, you'll need a permit if you're inviting over 50 people.    Also, open containers of alcohol are prohibited across the board but you can get a special permit for catered events and parties.   Pets are also allowed after 6pm at most beaches.   If you want more information for each local town... check out the links below and have fun.   But remember, not too much fun it's the Hamptons.

EAST HAMPTON TOWN
EAST HAMPTON VILLAGE
SOUTHAMPTON TOWN
SOUTHAMPTON VILLAGE

IF THIS SEEMS NORMAL.... YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN THE HAMPTONS!

I know it might sound shocking to some but I'm not originally from the Hamptons.  Yes, many think I'm the quintessential Hamptonite.  But here's my deep, dark secret....  I actually grew up in New Jersey.... but it gets worse... South Jersey!   Yes, a place where something called Scrapple (google it if you don't know - but don't say I didn't warn you) is considered gourmet, water is pronounced "worder" and the differences between peeing in the pool and into the pool are debatable.      Yet, after being here now for more than 20 years, I've become jaded.

Yet, while there are certain things that many on the outside already know about life in the Hamptons... the fun of a good star sighting... (You know sitting next to Jack Nicholson at The Grill - yep I did),.. $25.00 containers of guacamole or the insane price of real estate.. there are a few things that only those who really live here can understand.   Things that would make the average jaw drop in say, Ohio (are you reading Laura D?) that we here on the East End completely take for granted.  So here are a few of my observations that only people on the inside will understand as everyday life as we know it in the Hamptons.  

Valet Service at the Hospital - Where I grew up, the only valet I ever experienced for medical treatment involved an ambulance.   But here in the Hamptons we have valet service!   Yes, you can drop off your BMW or Tesla as your holding your blood soaked bandages on that gushing wound and get a free claim ticket!  I know, its just as glamorous as it sounds and almost as fancy as taking a "Blade" helicopter to Stony Brook.      

Oblivious Texting and Walking -  Perhaps the reason so many are using that valet service is because they were claiming their G*d given right to text and walk without looking.    Yes,  it doesn't matter if your crossing Main Street or 27 in the Hamptons, if you're texting and walking there is no need to look.   It's the drivers or bicyclists obligation to be on the lookout for you!  Ugh... I know I get it... pedestrians have the right away but there is a certain amount of responsibility we all need to take.     But only on the East End is this sort of behavior not only tolerated its commonplace and it's something I guess we're all kind of used to seeing.

Cancel all appointments... I'm getting my car washed.

Fistfights at Yoga -  Well in the parking lot to be more exact.  Why?  Because there's no parking... there's no parking... there's no parking!  I don't care if I'm there to find my center, if you take my space while I'm waiting you're toast!  It's a scenario that's more common than you think and is also a frequent scene at that other hub of zen, Soulcycle.    Now let's go to the Golden Pear and get an iced coffee!

Taking an Hour to Get Your Car Washed - UGH!  OK, it's a lot better in Hampton Bays but in Southampton it's like sitting through a Merchant-Ivory production.   SLOOOOOOOOOOWWWW. Now,   I don't think it's the fault of the staff but the simple fact they're the only game in town that makes this a most exhausting endeavor.    "I'm sorry, I'm not taking appointments on Wednesday.. I'm getting my car washed!"

Overdressed Ice Cream Stands - If you've ever been to Olaf's, Scoop Du Jour or Sant Ambroeus... especially the latter on a hot summer night, you know the Hamptons has it's own dress code.  This ain't no Dairy Queen in Idaho.... You'll stick out like a sore thumb if you dare wear a Harley T-shirt, Docker's shorts or even rubber flip flops.     It's designer duds for double dipping.   But don't think any trendy outfit will do.   Hamptonites have put the Blah in Manolo Blahniks... its more than just shoes... you need to be decked from head to toe when you order that Mint Chip no-sugar added lactose-fat free gelato.     Yes, consider it a dairy themed "Mean Girls."   

But everyone, please know living here hasn't changed me at all.   I'm still a softy at hearty.   Now, like everyone else out here I don't judge people by their race, religion or sexual preference.. I judge them by the car they drive (yes I stole that from Ellen Degeneres). 

!! YES!!! I USE TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!! BUT I'M TALKING WINE,PUPPIES AND WHAT TOWN IS FOR YOU!!!

For the party animals in us all!

It's not the dog days of summer yet but its time for some doggone fun!   UGH.  Even I know that is a really bad pun!  First a little advertisement for a REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD CAUSE!   The Southampton Animal Shelter holds it's Fourth Annual Unconditional Love Gala this Saturday.   The shelter was originally operated by the town but due to budget cuts, the town shut the shelter.   A group of concerned locals got together to save the shelter and formed the Southampton Animal Shelter Foundation!  Ok, I'm a total sucker for animal charities.   I give to the ASPCA, ARF and I bought a ticket to this event.   I know my stigmata wounds are already acting up... I'm a saint!   It's a great cause.... a really fun benefit and you can help out some of the cutest Hamptonites around!  You know the cute friendly ones who don't cut you off, text and drive, brag about their decorator or flash their Panerai!  Bella and Russell can't go but I know are giving their full support to the benefit.   Thanks to my friends Sarah Alvarez and Molly Molly for telling me about this event!  If you want to purchase tickets and help out... CLICK HERE!

So often I get asked as a real estate agent, "which town is best?"    You know, that's a really hard question to answer.   I really think every town has some very unique benefits and it's own pluses and minuses.     So I developed a little quiz here to help you find the town that's right for you.... it's fun...
it's silly... and eerily accurate;  So here we go.

1)   On Saturday afternoons your footwear of choice during the summer is ...
       a) Barefoot

Where should you go???

       b) Gucci or Prada
       c) Teva's
       d) Custom Monogrammed slippers

2)    While driving a convertible around town, Paula Abdul comes on the radio.  Do you...
        a) Remark "she was a singer? or "Who TF."
        b) Remark "I wish they were playing "Straight-up."
        c) Reduce the volume and hope nobody hears you listening.
        d) You would never play the radio while your top was down!

3)    My idea of a memorable evening is.....
        a) Not remembering how I got home.
        b) Sitting next to Gwyneth and Jerry at The Grill.
        c) Getting an invite for sailing and sunset cocktails.
        d) Hosting an awesome dinner party and getting some great hostess gifts!

4)     My favorite drink before dinner is...
         a) Red Bull and Vodka.
         b) A nice Rose or Sancerre.
         c) An awesome margarita with
         d) A martini... shaken not stirred.

Wolffer Kitchen is open!

Well here are the results... if you answered "a" to more than three of the questions, you need to hang in Montauk baby.   More than 3 "b" answers you should try East Hampton to Water Mill.... "c" It's Sag Harbor or Amagansett or Hampton Bays.... and "d" it's Southampton or Quogue.   If you answered less than 3, leave me alone.  I don't have all day to write this damn blog.

Finally, what's the latest buzz in Sag Harbor?  Well the Cuddy has set sail and Wolffer Kitchen has arrived in port.   The soft opening was last night and tonight they'll be serving food and hopefully lots of Wolffer Rose to keep that Summer Buzz going.   They'll be unlocking the doors tonight at 5.  I'll ty to stop by or at the very least get the early reviews to you asap.   If you're curious about the complete menu... click here.




     

DOPPIO'S DILEMNA.... AND YOU KNOW IT'S AUGUST ...UMMMM JULY IN THE HAMPTONS WHEN......

Yesterday's tomorrow is today.... right?

It's Peyton Place in Sag Harbor these days as the questions abound.... Is Doppio history or on hiatus.   Yesterday, state officials along with a few men in blue (you never know when some employee might want to sneak off with salt and pepper shakers) came in and locked the restaurant down and threw up a "SEIZED" sign!   Well it didn't take long but a few hours later one of the owners or employees was out there with a sign and free lemonade promising it will be "back to business as normal."   Well it's now 11:30 am and Hamptons Chatter was late to go to press today and the doors are all still locked and there isn't an employee in site. There is also no lemonade today but did you really think someone could serve free drinks in Sag Harbor without getting into trouble?

Rumors about Doppio's demise have been floating around since this winter.    After a promising start and lots of fanfare last year bad attitudes and mediocre food turned the eatery into a ghost town by Labor Day.   This year I have to say the food has improved and the staff is a heck of a lot friendlier.    Everyone should get a second chance and I'm hoping they make it work.    I'll keep you updated on the progress and update here as needed.    It would be fun to set up a webcam, right?

UPDATE 2:38pm:  It's still closed, still dark and Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
UPDATE 4:19pm:  The day glow orange sign is gone and they're getting ready to reopen.  A stirring saga is over. 

Bad reviews can't stop this bear!

• Meanwhile, it's beginning to feel a lot like August around here int he Hamptons.   I know every year we all complain the crowds are bigger, the traffic is worse, the lines are longer, blah, blah, blah than the year before.   But you know what?  I'm convinced it really is crazier than ever out here ... and there isn't a Kardashian in sight!   The way I know is the annual tell tale signs, that usually happen in late August are already upon us.   It's like a swallows of Capistrano situation here but with BMW's.   Here are the signs it's bursting at the seams on the East End;

A movie like "Ted 2" can sell out on Sunday night at 10pm.   Yes, it's only scored a lame 45% on Rotten Tomatoes but it's doing bang up business in East Hampton.   I can't imagine anyone wanting to pay to see this after the director's really really bad "A Million Ways to Die in the West,"  but if your choice is between this and "Me, Earl and the Dying Girl" one title does sound a little better for fun summer viewing.

Scads of Toddlers are playing under hot coffee pots at bagel stores and coffee shops while their attentive parents are texting away on their I-phones!   Now, I always find this annual occurrence to be a bit scary.  I mean I'm not a parent nor do I have any intuitive parental skills but I kind of find it stupid to let children play unsupervised under a scalding coffee pot!    Call me wacky!

It takes an hour to get from Southampton to East Hampton village on a week night and Sag Harbor Village looks like East Hampton Village!    Folks, if you live within walking distance to any of these villages (remember that's why you paid what you did!), why in the world are you driving a 10th of a mile to get there?!  Getting stuck in traffic on Butter Lane.... I'm sorry I just don't get it!   But then again there are a lot of things I don't understand..... like why everyone and their mother is now publishing a magazine this summer!  I read Hamptons Magazine, Hamptons Real Estate Showcase  and Dan's.... sorry that's it folks... the rest I toss in the circular file!   I would also read Curbed.com if it ever went to print... I hope I earn brownie points on these.

The uniform at Rowdy Hall is Gucci, Prada and Birkin  The home of Hamptons casual and arguably one of the best burgers around becomes a tornado of tags and logos as the normally low key crowd gets outnumbered and out dressed.    I know it's competitive out there and everyone wants too look good but isn't this a casual beach community?  Couldn't we all just embrace the softer side of Sears?  hahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahaahhahhah

RECON FROM HARBOR MARKET AND THE BEST OF OVERPRICED HAMPTONS!

The New Harbor Market!

Hi all, just remember Hamptons Chatter is not a daily, a weekly or any other type of regular anything.  I also refuse to take any sort of literary Metamucil!   I only speak when I feel inspired to speak, when the muses have touched me or when something around town really pisses me off.    So guess what? The muses haven't touched me but I am a little.... wait no negativity here either.   I need to breathe.   Hmm.   OK now for the not angry edition of Hamptons Chatter or as Curbed.com editors have been known to call this "HC."    I can live with that... HC!

Well, I finally had the chance to go the new Harbor Market and Kitchen in Sag Harbor to see if all the fuss and arguing was worth it.  Well, here I am to tell you it was much ado about nothing!   The place looks fantastic, beautiful barn doors, cedar shingles and the whole exterior of the place is totally in keeping in with the neighborhood aesthetic.     The food by the way, is also pretty good especially the pizzas but only order when you're not in a hurry.   As for the much feared industrial sounds coming from the roof and the awful unattractive roof.... well it's pretty damn quiet and its way more attractive than that house on 114 that looks like it's being built for the Munsters or the hideous colors radiating from Yummilicious!   Not that I don't love Yummilicious.

I don't know the owners of the market but I can tell you they've had their hands full battling to open the market... remember this is the same street where panties were twisted over a huge pair of legs.... but there efforts have paid off.    The interior is beautiful and the sandwiches, salads and the macaroni and cheese are pretty good too!    So go, check it out and decide for yourself.... and decide if the world really changed that much on Henry Street!?

But you know different things find different things offensive.     What do I find offensive??????   Some of the prices we are forced to pay here around town in the Hamptons!  Here is my brief list of some of the worst offenders.  Now remember, I don't mind paying big bucks for the guacamole at Round Swamp Farm because it's amazing.   What I do resent is mediocre products at premium prices. But remember, this is not an angry blog.  I'm staying positive.   So here are some of the most positively overpriced items I can think of on the East End.... 2015 Edition!

No supersizing here - Sanscerre that is Sen-sationally expensive!! 

Sen Restaurant - This Sag Harbor establishment is always packed and I get it.   The food is good but a dinner for two with a few glasses of wine and some sushi shouldn't cost nearly $300 bucks!    Well, part of it might have been the very stingy pours of Sancerre wine, I'm convinced that I the owner or manager was inspecting before going to the waiting tables.  REALLY? It's a $14 dollar glass of wine... you're not going to lose money if they give some lucky diner an extra ouce!    It will be a long time before I go to Sen again, instead I'll head to Zokkon in East Hampton which is a fraction of the cost and just as good.   It's also never packed there.... but it should be... great food and friendly prices!

Any Taxi in the Hamptons - I recently went from the Hampton Jitney to BMW in Southampton.   How far was that?  What 300 yards?!  It cost me nearly $20 dollars because it was a flat rate. Apparently that is for all cabs across the board... or so I'm told   Now before you all go saying I'm lazy and should have walked, I had a ton of luggage.   But really... $20?!  I could have taken a cab from the Upper East Side to Midtown for less.   But hey, it's the Hamptons where some take the motto "if you have to ask the price then you shouldn't be here!"

Babette's East Hampton -  How much would you pay for a Western Omelette?     How about $18.95 at this Village eatery.   There really isn't much to say here... I mean it's an omelette!    Instead of getting eggs here, how about getting the same dish at Princess Diner for $9.95.   By the way, what's with the .95 cents, is it some sort of weird egg law or tax?   For crying out loud people, say what it is for real;  $10 and $19.

East Hampton and Southampton Parking Tickets - Go to the beach without a permit or park on one of the lanes and you're going to get slapped with a $150 parking ticket.   Yup, that's like getting two California Rolls and a glass of wine at a certain restaurant!  By the way, don't try messing with any of the brownies - the kids that write the tickets... nothing to do with Tate's or Round Swamp Brownies.... wait I'm hungry!   OH, don't mess with the kids writing tickets in any of the villages, they may be taking their SAT's in the fall but these kids do not fool around!



Well, I'm back to pure happy thoughts now!    So I'm done writing.

     

 

YOU CANOLI IMAGINE THE CHANGE IN WAINSCOTT.... TAKE A PEEK! PLUS A TALE SO STUPID IT HAS TO BE TRUE!

Makeover Mangia!

If you've been through Wainscott lately,  you've probably noticed there's a whole lot of something going on at the former location of Georgica and Saracen restaurants.   The location is now the home of Osteria Salina and the inside has been given face lift that would make Cher green with envy!  Its been a much needed change for the 130 year old building that was more recently the home of ruckus night clubs catering to the hard partying "bottle and banquette" crowd.    Instead neighbors now have a traditional Sicilian restaurant in one of the most charming locations around.   In fact, if you ask me it looks like they spent a pretty penne to make it look good!  Sorry for the pun.

The Georgica Room with a view!   

The restaurant which was formally located on School Street in Bridgehampton has now been expanded by purveyor Tim Gaglio and his wife Cinzia (the chef) into a larger 225 seat venue overlooking Georgica Pond.   The menu will remain the same and feature old favorites like Charred Octopus, Polpette (amazing italian meatballs), Mezzi Rigitoni alla Siciliana, fresh seafood specials but with the addition of pizzas cooked in the brick oven that was a staple back when the restaurant was "Sapore di Mare."     If you don't remember back that far then you certainly don't know the reason Route 27 is so close to the site!?  Well I'll tell you, it's owed to two feuding brothers, one who designed highways for the state and the other who owned a house in Wainscott!

Classic design meets chic renovation!

Well enough about the location, the food which comes with a Sicilian pedigree (Cinzia comes from a long line of Italian restauranteurs) that goes all the way back to Sorra Italy has been earning raves from local celebs like Billy Joel, Alan Alda and Howard Stern to name a few.   In fact, I bet next door neighbor Ron Perlman will soon swing by for some Bucatini con Sarde ... the smells will get 'em and I heard he loves to walk everywhere!   There's no doubt it will be attracting the same crowd plus a few new ones with the expanded dining room.   Osteria Salina will open it's doors quietly this Thursday (5/21) night at 5pm and be open for business year round.   It's a great addition to the area and if you have any doubt they're aiming for a different crowd than the last establishment, stop by on Sunday's from 1 to 9pm when they'll be serving traditional Sophia Loren sized "family style" dinners.    If you want a reservation and my guess is your going to need them... check out the restaurant on OPENTABLE.COM  

As any real estate on the east end will tell you, dealing with Summer rentals is never easy.    This Friday will no doubt too be another hair raising experience for agents all over as tenants start to move into their seasonal rentals.  Yes, I'll soon be getting calls about defective toasters, noisy neighbors and even the occasional call asking for an address (write it down before you go out drinking).     Well it's a few
years later and now enough time has passed to tell a tale I from a few years ago when one tenant called me complaining about the wireless Internet.   I explained I wasn't an expert but I would swing by and take a look.    Apparently the code for the wifi wasn't working and I thought I'd give it a shot.    When I arrived I input the code and bing!  It worked!   What was the problem?   Well, when I gave them the code in the e mail I wrote "the password is case sensitive xyz."  Yes, you got it... they wrote "CASE SENSITIVE" when inputting the code.  By the way, English was their first language and it was a $200k+ seasonal rental!    Only in the Hamptons!

IF YOU WANT TO RENT YOUR HOUSE IN THE HAMPTONS..... A FEW THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW FIRST!

One of the great things about owning a home in the Hamptons is your ability to rent it out.    Yes, for some it's a cash cow and can help off set most of your yearly expenses in just 3 short months.    But you better know what you're doing.   If you rent to the wrong tenant or your house isn't ready, you could end up making less than money than a romantic comedy with Katherine Heigl and Nicholas Cage.

So what do you need to know and how do you get the most money possible for your rental?  Well luckily Hamptons Chatter is here to tell you.

Price it Right - This is my rule of thumb...  if you just bought your house and it's decorated and well maintained, you can expect about 4-5% the cost of the property for the Memorial Day to Labor Day period.   50% of that should be counted for the August rental.   For example, your Restoration Hardware decorated home you just bought for $1,000,000 should rent MD-LD for $50k or $25K for August.   This is not a hard and fast rule.  If your house is a few years old, ask an agent what they think would be a good rental price. It's also not a science so adjusting the price as you get close to the season may be needed.

List your property properly -  First off, keep it as an open listing.  Unless you're renting your home for $250k or more, most companies won't even take an exclusive rental and that's not a bad thing.   Agents are no different than anyone else and they're looking to earn a living.   So if it's between a $100k rental that's an exclusive rental where the agent will have to give a chunk to the listing agent or an open listing where they get the lions share, which one do you think they're going to show?   Most rental listings in the Hamptons are open listings, so keep yourself competitive.   But also know, unless you tell your agent to share the listing you'll need to make sure every company has your home and at the right (same) price!

Busy, busy, busy!!  www.uglyhousephotos.com

Get the house ready to go - If agents are starting to show your house,  it should look like your tenants are moving in tomorrow.     Reduce the clutter around the house, make sure all of your photos and personal Nick-knacks are stored away and please, please, please keep it neat and clean.    Also, less is more.... if the house is overloaded with furniture that's not a plus for most tenants, it will only make the property feel crowded and full.
your house if there are dirty dishes are in the sink and pet hair on all of the sofas (nobody wants to live in someone else's dirt).   "Clean" is also a key word when it comes to decor.   Busy patterns or tons of floral bed spreads, pillow cushions or curtains will overwhelm some potential tenants.   While you're taste may be good, it might not be for everyone.   That's why   Do not show Baskin and Robbins has 31 flavors but you don't need that many colors!

Make it and easy show - While I don't suggest leaving a key under the mat (that's a really bad idea for a number of reasons).   You have to make sure agents have easy access to your property.   Customers run late... HELLO, IF THINK YOU'RE IN THE HAMPTONS AND YOU DIDNT HIT TRAFFIC YOU'RE ONLY IN SHIRLEY.... and sometimes agents run late too so if it becomes to difficult to coordinate they'll move on.  The best way to control access and make sure you get shown is to drop a key off with your local broker.  They'll keep the key locked up and log who borrows and uses the key.   You could also buy a lock box or better yet buy a digital remote system where you can grant access to your home via your cell phone.  My personal favorite is the KEVO system, which you can buy easily enough on Amazon.

Get professional photos - If you want a good laugh, go through one of those "home for rent -by owner" sites.  Would you rent some of these homes?   I didn't think so.  Bad photos are a home owners biggest enemy.   My advice is hire a professional photographer (call any agency they'll recommend who to call) and then share these photos to all the agencies.   You have to spend money to make money and this particular expense is a no brainer to me.


Finally a few last points about "Hamptons Summer Renting" - if you use an agent to rent your house you'll need to pay the commission and in most cases it's 10% of the term of the lease.     It might seem like a lot but most agents screen their customers or get them via referral.  You'll be less likely to get a bad egg tenant.     Also, most leases require that tenants will maintain the property while in residency, so make sure they use the folks who know the house... your housekeeper, your lawn guy, your pool person, etc.

Also, if you live in Southampton Town make sure to get a rental permit.  It's not easy to do but it will protect you in the long run if you have problems with the tenant.

Now remember, I couldn't cover everything in this brief posting but I hope its a helpful start.   I also know not everyone will agree with my advice so feel free to post what you think.

WEEKEND MARKET REPORT.... APOCALYPSE HAMPTONS AND HOW TO HANG WITH ALEC!

Winter siting of Hamtpons house hunters! 

So this week's weekend roundup is a day late.  What can I say, I was busy chipping ice from my walks and salting my driveway.     While we finally got out of single digits this past weekend and we qualified as a B-.     "We're still not seeing the kind of activity we should at this time of the year but it's still better than what we've seen the past few weeks,"  said one experienced agent.    
now have everyone on the verge of getting spring fever.   This in turn helped traffic this past weekend for Hamptons rental and sales.   While most of the activity was rental focused, there was definitely more interest in sales this past weekend than we've seen over the past polar vortex infused months.   Considering the lingering icy conditions and the snow this past weekend of agents and brokers I spoke to the first weekend

"They love the smell of low wafting bacon in the morning"

If you've ever flown across country you know how pilots love to point out landmarks like the Grand Canyon or St. Louis Arch, well when it comes the Hamptons it seems like the pilots enjoy getting as close a look as possible!  "Folks, look to your right and you can see Martha Stewart picking flowers." Well this Thursday evening, could it be a last call for boarding at East Hampton Airport?  Most definitely not but it does appear that things are going to be changing in some ways at HTO (FAA letters).  It will all begin at 4:30pm when The East Hampton Town Board will be listening to comments from all interested parties. Proposed are regulations to set late night, early morning and weekend restrictions on noisy aircraft coming and going.  

Currently there are no restrictions on when you can land or takeoff. If you want to wake up the entire East End with your giant Sikorsky helicopter (Hi Ira!) at four in the morning….you can.  Residents from all east end towns who are tired of rattling martini glasses and interrupted poolside conversations may finally get some relief after years of increased traffic to and from HTO.  And now that crowd-sorcerers like Blade are offering bargain basement rates you can expect the racket to increase even more unless the Town Board sets some limits.

What do you think? The East Hampton Town Board would like to know. You can email them and become part of the public comment at HTOcomments@EHamptonNy.gov

Your new BFF!?

You can also watch the proceeding live on LTV but if you do you'd better have plenty of popcorn.  Helicopter pilots plan to show up en-masse to plead their case and residents from all East End towns are coming loaded for bear.  Local government in action!

Meanwhile, do you want to hang with a Hamptons "A-lister?"   Well here's your chance. Charitybuzz.com is taking bids to see a performance of Arthur Miller's "All My Sons" and then have a meet and greet with it's star Alec Baldwin after the performance at Guild Hall in East Hampton.    You can get the details by clicking here because as you know with all these things there is always the fine print.   I have to say, I've always been a fan of Arthur Miller's "All My Sons" but will it be the same without Fred Mac Murray?   I also never understood what happened to the brother Mike from the first couple seasons.   
  

Weekend Wrap-up; Renting Sight Unseen... Winter of Our Discontent Continues!

So, it was another snowy weekend here on the East End.    The snow, the ice, the frigid cold and the general lousy weather continues here in the Hamptons.     While internet activity for rentals and sales still remains strong and steady,  the number of people willing to trek through snow and frigid temps is dwindling.    This in turn has led to a number of

Rapid Rescue... lifesavers!  Yep, that's my car!

rentals actually being rented sight unseen.   One broker I spoke with "E" said it, "makes me very nervous."    Renting from a picture which could have very well been photo-shopped is a bad idea.    Another agent "G" indicated that they're seeing tenants from previous seasons going back to the house they rented last year so they don't have to come back out and look again.    Speaking to my cadre (aren't you impressed with my vocabulary?) of experienced brokers and agents, the weather continues to put somewhat of a damper on the Hamptons market.   That being said, once the snow melts they're expecting an explosion of activity....  because phones are ringing and e-emails are being traded back and forth.  So the grade for this weekend was a C+. I really have to go to Florida soon! 

An offer at Guild Hall you can't refuse!

If you want an example of how difficult it is to get around the Hamptons, look no further than yours truly.     I made the mistake of taking my "4 Wheel" car out last night to pick up some food.    But alas, after one gunning of the accelerator and a slippy driveway I ended up in a snow bank on my own driveway.   I mean with all of the ice, if you don't see sharp you'll be flat (read that again).   Anyway, thanks to RAPID RECOVERY and $135,  I finally got my car out this morning.    By the way, I also want to thank my lovely neighbor for trying to pretend he didn't see.    I wasn't going to ask for your help anyway!    So for the next few days, keep Rapid Recovery on speed dial, they were great and there in about an hour...(631) 728-7752.


Meanwhile, this week there's an offer at Guild Hall you can't refuse.  The East Hampton film society will be presenting a special screening this Thursday night at 7 p.m. of the 1972 classic, "The Godfather."  Personally I liked the "Godfather II" better but still this flick glues me to the screen every time I catch it on TV.   Tickets are $8.00 for non members.  If you want more information  click here for the website and you can also buy tickets.  So, take it to the mattresses and go get a ticket.... otherwise you may find a horse in your bed!
catch it.