It's a tale of two tacos and a little shoe business!

Well the hustling and bustling continues with all of the shops and restaurants on the East End as the countdown continues to the Memorial Day Weekend. One of the more industrious projects seems to be taking place at the site of the former Almond and Woodshed Inn. According to a source, permits were made with the town to turn the location into a sports bar and Mexican restaurant. It is allegedly

being done by a group from up the island and they plan to name the place "AGAVE." There was some environmental issues that needed to be worked out and that's how I was alerted. Now, if that name sounds familiar yes, there is one in the city on lower 7th Avenue and there was also one in Sag Harbor. I don't think this particular venue will have any affiliation with the aforementioned businesses but at the very least it can't be any worse than BLUE PARROT (Bon Jovi's place). So, will the Hamptons finally get good Mexican food? Stay tuned!

Now, since I've mentioned it to a few folks the constant question seems to be.. "what's a Mexican - sports bar?" It's a place with Tacos and TV sets... or maybe just burritos. Who knows!


Finally, I got my shoes back from Dutch Girl Cleaners at the King Kullen in Bridehampton. They did a really good job! They rep

laced the soles on my driving shoes and polished and fixed two others. All in all a big thumbs up. So yes Virginia, you can get a decent shoe repair in the Hamptons!

More goings on around town!! Food news, furniture news...etc

Remember Tommy Hilfigger opened a flagship store in East Hampton? Well yes it's gone already. Now I don't want to mock Tommy (he is a very successful guy) but perhaps this isn't really his market. I mean it seems to me Ralph Lauren has a lock on the EH public and in fact there are rumors he's even designing new uniforms for the police and fire department. Ok, the last part is a joke but I can actually see it happening. Anyway, Tommy H is gone and going into his place in case you don't already know is RESTORATION HARDWARE. I love love love love Restoration Hardware and the biggest reason is because they don't really sell hardware! I've never seen a single hack saw in the place but the furniture, the finishings and everything else rock. It's opening right on Main St. and the sign in the window says it's opening in April. Stay tuned.

Now for the food news; Race Lane is back open after a brief hiatus and menu overhaul. The burger is still there, the Branzino is still there and so is the Half Chicken. Also now on the men is an amazing crab cake appetizer, suffed zucchini flower with ricotta, mint and tomato emulsion and a crab cake that is virtually all crab! There 's a lot more on the menu at RL (no, not Ralph Lauren- - Race Lane) and the service and atmosphere are top notch. We're glad to see them back in action.

Meanwhile, Yes I was W-R-O-N-G! Almond didn't go into the Old Stove Pub as I prophisized but I was told it really was close. In case you didn't know, they're going to the old

ONE OCEAN, which I remember better as the old JG Mellon's. I actually worked at JG Mellon's on the UWS when I first moved to NYC. I'm not sure why they never made it out here. I'm wishing Eric L. and Laura and the entrie crew of Almond luck at their new local. I'll see you guys soon!

I love "30 Rock" and Alec Baldwin too.... 10 friendliest in the Hamptons!!! Plus Almond has new location!

I've been meaning to write this blog for about two weeks. I was reading the NY Post last week (no I don't pay for it)!and once again harping on Alec Baldwin for claiming residency in the Hamptons. I don't know why the press has this tendency to be so harsh on him but I can tell you for sure, Alec Baldwin lives in the Hamptons... and yes YEAR ROUND.
You always see him around and he's very supportive of all things Hamptons. From Guild Hall to Bay Street Theatre to the Hamptons International Film Festival. He dines at the restaurants on Wednesday nights in February when it's usually two other people in the place. He's often quiet but never rude and always a gentleman.
I also have a soft spot for him, not just because I love "30 Rock" but also because he did something really kind for a friend of mine's mother. My college roommate had the misfortune of being onboard the crash of Swiss Air 111. Shortly after the accident his mom was in NY organizing some things when she ran into Mr. Baldwin. He spent almost a half hour chatting her up, making her day and completely unaware of the circumstances. Cheers! You're a cool guy Alec. There are other celebrities who deserve to be picked on... he's not one of them.
So this had me thinking. I've met a lot of celebrities in my TV days and ton here out in the Hamptons. There were some I liked and some I thought were complete jerks (#1 Mira Sorvino). But the question we're addressing.. who are the cool and nice celebs in the Hamptons?! Here's my top 10!
#1 Alec Baldwin... See above!
#2 Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick... SJP because she thought she remembered me and Peter... we never met before. And Matthew Broderick because I saw him smiling to a group on the street one day who kept calling him "Ferris Bullauh!"
#3 Julie Andrews... never met her but she's Mary Poppins! She has to be nice!
#4 Lorraine Bracco... cool lady, makes great wine and pitches in to help the domestic violence center THE RETREAT!
#5 Matt Lauer... see previous blog about him taking the Polar Plunge!
#6 Jon Bon Jovi.... he goes to spin class and doesn't grunt and act pompous like a certain annoying, grunting, skinny academy award winner!
#7 Ina Garten.... the coconut cupcakes! Is she nice?! I have no clue.. but did I mention the coconut cupcakes?!
#8 Paul McCartney.... I never met him but always hear good stories about him from all the folks in town. He used to frequent Nichols in East Hampton, although I never saw him there. But I will tell you, I wouldn't go to Nichols if I were Paul McCartney.
#9 Kelsey Grammer ... nice to all at the various charity events. Was seen partying with my mother in law Mimi at the Bay Street Gala a few years ago!
#10 George Stephanopoulos.... why is he here?! Well I saw Good Morning America this morning and I feel bad for him. Add Robin Roberts to the list too. They're both too talented for such Today show rehash. Also sympathy for having to look at Sam Champion's International Male outfits at company functions!
Not so nice!? The domestic goddess, the writer of that book where Michael J. Fox starred in the movie... The guy from Watergate and the grammy winner.

FINALLY!!! I have information that Almond formerly of Bridgehampton has a new location! They'll be going into the old OLD STOVE PUB in Wainscott. My source is highly

reliable but it's not Eric Lemonides the owner. But I trust this source enough to say, drinks are on me if that's not where it's going. Apparently after a bid for the very quiet Copa went south.. the new loacation has been found! See you there soon!!!

Tomorrow advice on Valentines Day!

Call it the Baby Jessica event of the Hamptons... or the Chilean Dog Minor of East Hampton!! TV Movie is soon to follow!!

Who said there is no excitement in the Hamptons in the winter. Take the following case of the mischievous Beagle mix known as Russell. This morning as I was finishing my final cup of coffee before heading out the door and emergency arose. NO, it had nothing to do with Ann Currie saying something inane again on the Today show. It involved a loud bark coming from the back yard.

As I went outside, I saw my trusty and well behaved girl Boo digging away at the side of the pool house! What was she doing?? Wait there's another bark coming from... GASP.... underneath the pool house!!! Oh my god, I had visions of Jo Beth Williams somehow working her way into a TV version of what could be a truly tragic event!!! "BABY JESSICA 2; RUSSELL'S TRAPPED!" The air was filled with tension and suspense. But as often is the case in times of tragedy, the spirit of man causes him to rise to the occasion. WE ARE ALL HEROES DEEP DOWN INSIDE (cue David Bowie song)!



Luckily my trusty house manager Daniel Strohmeir was there with crow bar in hand. If you know me well, you know why I often owe mine, Boo, Peter and Russell's very survival to Daniel. This morning all of our lives came crashing together in what could have been a tragedy!! In all seriousness for a second, I got scared when the little guy stopped barking for a few minutes. I actually got a shiver thinking what if somehow Russell really got himself hurt down... choking or suffocating! Yikes, maybe I should have called the fire department. I mean they rescue cats out of trees right?!

No, never call the fire department or the police in the Hamptons unless it's an absolute emergency. Because knowing my luck Russell would pop out the minute I did and I would end up being disgraced in the community fire/police blotter as the neurotic crack pot who called over his dog chasing a rabbit under a pool house. Read the Hamptons police blotters and you learn so much about the community. My favorite of late was the gentleman crackpot on Georgica beach who called 911 after a dog owner forgot to pick up some poop! It's a true story and no it wasn't me. I was on a cruise and have proof to back my claims. Now back to the rabbit chasing Russell. Did I say he was chasing a rabbit before?! Well that's my theory anyway.
Anyway, after about 90 minutes of tension, tears and fears. Russell was liberated thanks to a quickly kicked and pulled hole in the floor. Russell didn't say much about his ordeal after the liberation. But I have noticed he's all of a sudden taken an interest in the New York City Marathon website. Is his surfing of said website an indication he's planning to run like a certain Chilean Miner next fall! ONLY TIME WILL TELL!! By the way, I think I want Doug Savant to play me in the TV version, don't you think that's good casting?! (photo of a concerned Boo, eager to help-she did actually start digging a hole and ripping shingles off the house)

Finally some quick Almond update gossip. Rumors are floating that Eric Lemonides will take almond into... ta dah... BOBBY VANS. While I really doubt that scenerio big time. My bets are going to COPA around the corner. The School Street restaurant has been kind of quiet lately. It's just my theory anyway!

Ok something nice about this weather! Yes, that is my finger!!! PLUS MUSINGS ON WHY BEAGLES ARE JUST BAD!!!!

Posted via email from pjmhamptons's posterous

I know I've been bad about blogging here but I promise I'll be better in 2011! Anyway, as you can see by the photo, the Hamptons CAN be fun in the winter. This is the Buckskill Skating Club, located on yes... you guessed right.. Buckskill Rd. in East Hampton. My suggestion though is if you're not under 9 years old (which I am not, although some say I look young for my age) go during the week when it's not so crowded with daredevil youngsters. I mean I don't want to break a hip or anything!! Not that I would since I'm so young. I wrote about this last year and how for about $20 you can rent skates, exercise outside and breathe some fresh air.

Now on to other topics. Real quick, rumors galore about what restaurants are moving where. Let me tell you I'm hearing from a reliable source that Bamboo is not becoming ALMOND. Apparently there will be a new sushi restaurant in the location and they're souping up the place and hoping to be open before April.

The other rumor about NICHOL'S.. they are still very much open and the food is actually as good as before and perhaps even a little better and less greasy! I know that's a turn off for some.
Finally, here is Russell. He's my recently adopted BEAGLE/JACK RUSSELL TERRIER mix. He's apparently got a new hobby. He likes running back and forth over the invisible fence and giving him self a little jolt! I can't figure it out why he continues to do this! Anyone having any suggestions I'll be happy to hear them.

Finally, what Hamptons real estate agent WAS actually a female prison guard. We all know she looks the part but did you know she REALLY WAS a guard!??? I'm just asking!

Almond will soon toast in a new location... and I'm no longer in 5th grade!!!!

Well I heard it through the grapevine... and not from Marvin Gaye... that Almond will be moving to a new home. Apparently owner Eric Lemonides couldn't come to terms with the landlord of what I thought for years was a cursed property. Almond proved me wrong! It's been a hit since day 1. I don't have any idea where the Almond gang will be moving but the current establishment will be shuttering sometime in early December. Almond is an institution in the Hamptons and I have no doubt Eric's loyal following out here as well as in the city will follow him! Chelsea Clinton has been reported to be a frequent visitor among a slew of other celebrities but my favorite star siting was always Peter Jennings. He was pretty much a regular there every Friday night back in the day. I guess as one door closes another opens. I only hope Almond moves closer to East Hampton, it would be easier for me! OK, one quick question, with a million vacant restaurant properties (JL East, Star Room, Poxabogue, etc.) in the Hamptons, does the landlord really think now is a good time to play hardball?

Also, a game changer for me. I finally learned how to tie a Windsor Knot! My friend Paul Zweben who is the ultimate metrosexual has long chided me for tying my knots like I was still a 5th grader in Catholic School. Well now my Hermes ties will finally look presentable!! So how did I do it? The way any adult in the 21st century learns anything. I went to YOU TUBE! Ha. Here it is!!

Just imagine Edward Everett Horton announcing; Friday Night Food Fever or Might I Munch at Midnight???

Yeah, Yeah, I know traffic sucked you didn't have time to stop for dinner and you're pulling into Southampton and you're really really hungry. What to do?! Well, you can stop at BK or Mickey D's but you'll regret it later. Here's my quick guide to what's open til when along 27!

Roberts in Water Mill open til 10 pm. I love this place. My favorite dish is the Free-Range Organic" Chicken w/ Fresh Herbs & Gorgonzola Polenta for $32.00! A little more formal than Chef Robert Durkin's Paradise in Sag Harbor with a warm in intimate atmosphere.

Almond is more casual and on Friday night is a little congested. If you're comfortable in a Chelsea restaurant on Saturday night then you'll be find here. Almond is open til Midnight on Fridays. My favorite thing on the menu is the Roast Chicken..it's a classic! Yes, I order chicken most of the time! And as if nobody knew this... a single gal will meet plenty of single guys there but they'll be better suited for a partner in "Name that Showtune" than partner in courtship. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

If you want something a little more casual, there's Bobby Van's and World Pie in Bridgehampton. Both are open til Midnight and have great bar tenders. So what do you eat at World Pie? Try the Escargo! NOT! It's the pizza... Duh! As for Bobby Van's, I suggest the Asian Chicken Salad! Now let's keep driving down 27....

Ok, I'm getting tired of writing this so here is the rest of 27
Town Line BBQ - 11 pm - the best onion rings!
The Palm - 10:30 or 11ish.. depending
Rowdy Hall - 11pm

But wait... if you're coming out REAALLY REALLY REALLY LATE... the new and IMPROVED GULF Station in Bridgehampton is my new favorite... hey it's not BP right?! It has a wide selection of delicacies ranging
are these nut free????

from microwavable burritos to those rotating hot dogs! A big minus in the staffing department. I got a nasty attitude when I asked them about the house specialty. They also couldn't answer if the premade sandwiches were OK for someone with a nut allergy. I'm sorry, I don't always carry an Epi pen and need to be cautious with my car passengers!! Overall I give it a C.


3 quick benefits to tell you about! ANN LIGUORI FOUNDATION OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE DINNER DANCE AT DUCK WALK VINEYARDS, WATER MILL. Benefiting American Cancer Society and Healthy Children. The food is provided by OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE (Why they never opened in Southampton is still a mystery to me) Saturday 6:30-11:00 PM. DUCK WALK VINEYARDS. WATER MILL. (917)488-1412 innerview@aol.com.

also Saturday ROCK THE DOCK FOR BAY STREET! AT THE SUMMER GALA BENEFIT BASH at 6:30 PM. Joy Behar of The View and Mario Cantone of Sex and the City 2 are the hosts... I have my earplugs ready! It will be held at the Long Wharf in Sag Harbor. Cocktails, Hors d'oeuvres, Sit-down Dinner, Dancing, Silent Auction events@baystreet.org or 631.725.0818 for info. baystreet.org.

Finally... HSN EVENTS FOR WEEKEND OF JULY 16, 2010

FRIDAY JULY 16, 2010
Hamptons Social Series At Lily Pond Benefiting The Help for Orphans International. Jill Zarin and R.Couri Hay invite you to the third installment of the Hamptons Social Series at Lily Pond to honor the Help for Orphans International on Friday, July 16th. Doors open at 9 p.m. with cocktails followed by a light buffet supper by Philippe at Lily Pond's new garden patio and a portion of the proceeds from every check will go to Help for Orphans International . For reservations RSVP@hamptonssocialseries.com or visit Hamptonssocialseries.com. Lily Pond, 44 Three Mile Harbor, East Hampton.

SATURDAY, JULY 17, 2010
ANN LIGUORI FOUNDATION OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE DINNER DANCE AT DUCK WALK VINEYARDS, WATER MILL. Benefiting American Cancer Society and Healthy Children, Healthy Futures Romantic weekends away, local and worldwide golf course giveaways, Judith Ripka jewlery, and various sports memorabilia are some of the fabulous items up for auction at this event. It is a great opportunity to get amazing prizes and help a great cause. 6:30-11:00 PM. DUCK WALK VINEYARDS. WATER MILL. (917)488-1412 innerview@aol.com.

ROCK THE DOCK FOR BAY STREET! AT THE SUMMER GALA BENEFIT BASH at 6:30 PM. w/ HOSTS: Joy Behar of The View & Headline News & Mario Cantone of Sex and the City. The Long Wharf in Sag Harbor. Cocktails, Hors d'oeuvres, Sit-down Dinner, Dancing, Silent Auction & Live Music by DJ Tom Finn ("The King of Spin" - Avenue Magazine) and Escola de Samba BOOM! events@baystreet.org or 631.725.0818 for info. baystreet.org.


2nd Annual MARTININS FOR MUTTS! Sat 5 to 8 pm. Cocktails, entertainment, Raffle, Silent Auction at 214 Toppings Path in Sagaponack. A $40 minimum donation in advance or $50 AT the door. RSVP to Michelle@LCARF.org or visit lcarf.org for more info.

Change, Change, Change.... or maybe not and your friend who got a $40,000 oceanfront rental is lying!

I keep hearing everyone talk about how "The Hamptons have changed so much over the past few years." Well, I beg to differ. I've compiled a list of things that are still the same out east. And remember as Carly Simon sang, "these are the good old days."

The best steak place in town is still The Palm.

Sushi is still free Thursday nights at Bamboo.

The bagels at Hampton Bagels on North Main are still the best.

The staff at Bagel Buoy in Sag Harbor is still nasty.

The American Hotel still has a great Saturday night bar crowd.

The lines at Walbaums in East Hampton are still way too long.

Friday night at Almond is still a bad place for DWF's to meet SWM's but hey, it's still fun!

Howie at Paradise is still the best bar tender.

Driving out on Friday night to the Hamptons can still take almost as much time as flying from NY to LA. Thank god we know Howie!

I'll still have to wait in line to get into Georgica.

There are still no $40,000 oceanfront summer rentals in Bridgehampton despite what your friend's friend is saying.

The East Hampton police still hit the beach at 9:01a on weekends to ticket dog owners.

You still need a mortgage to get a lunch at the Golden Pear.

And finally... the donuts at Scoop Du Jour are still just as good as when they were Dresen's.

So stop your belly aching folks and just enjoy the summer!!!


Finally... If you read this blog than you know about Russell my new terrorist... I mean dog. Anyway, he's here thanks to the folks at Last Chance Animal Rescue Fund of the Hamptons. Russell is also a big martini drinker so it only makes sense that he and I attend the first annual "Martini's for Mutts" to benefit the Last Chance Animal Rescue Fund, on Saturday, Aug. 29, from 5 p.m to 8 p.m. Yeah, I'm giving you plenty of advance notice.

Enjoy an evening of poolside cocktails to benefit this most worthy cause at the home of Edward Montak and Michelle Neufeld, at 214 Toppings Path in Sagaponack.

Last Chance Animal Rescue Fund is a charitable, not-for-profit organization, created to save the lives of animals. The organization states "We rescue animals that are located in "KILL" facilities and underwrite the costs of relocating them to "NO KILL" facilities in hopes of finding them a forever family. The minimum donation is $30. RSVP at neufeld.michelle@gmail.com.

http://www.lcarf.org/about.php

Also, look for last years weekly afternoon tea dance to be relocated to Bamboo in East Hampton. Details to come...

IT'S DATE NIGHT IN THE HAMPTONS... AND LOCATION MEANS EVERYTHING!!!

So many of my friends...mostly gay men and women ask me for my impressions on various restaurants and what they mean in the dating sense. Like in the city a friend of mine would call and say, "I'm going on a date tonight... we're going to Per Se." I would usually respond to that with "awesome... you got a winner or you found a winner and you're willing to spend some bucks." So, in the Hamptons what does it tell you when the person picks the restaurant. TONS! If you read below I'll answer all your questions. Now remember, this guide and glossary is only good if you've been asked to one of these establishments. It's also a good guide to picking the right location for someone who is truly special.




Restaurant: Nick and Toni's , The Palm or the American Hotel.



What does it say: If it's on a Friday or Saturday night.. it means they have connections. They're also not short on cash and willing to go head to head with some of the biggest attitudes in the Hamptons. If they order the zucchini chips (at N&T) or onion rings (Palm) they're daring... not afraid of calories because they'll be at the gym in the morning. It also says, they really know the menu. If one of the hostesses or maitre d's say "hello," you know they're doing well because they obviously slipped one of them a few buck$ for Christmas. They deserve a least a second date or to go a few bases. If you're date is on a Sunday or prixe-fixe night, it's up to your discretion.

Underlying issues: My advice would be to avoid any topics or conversations dealing with the following: ex-wives, alimony or investing with Bernie Madoff.



Restaurant: Matto


What does it say: Chances are your date is a summer renter here in the Hamptons. They're still new to the scene so if you're waiting for that invitation to Jerry Seinfeld's residence forget it. If this is a first date, finish the evening and change your cell number. You can do better.

Underlying issues: Avoid topics relating to home ownership in the Hamptons, real estate, St. Barth's at Christmas and flying coach versus first class.

Restaurant: 1770 House

What does it say: Your date obviously knows some of the hidden treasures of the Hamptons. It also says, they're willing to go to a quiet place and they're not afraid to hold a conversation with you. They're smart and into the finer things in life. Confident and not afraid to spend a little extra for something special. Now, I want to be clear we're talking about the upstairs restaurant here... if you end up in the downstairs pub it only says one thing to me; THEY'RE MARRIED!


Underlying issues: If your upstairs you can pretty much discuss anything, they obviously are open and willing to talk. If your DOWNSTAIRS avoid discussing wives, mistresses, explaining difficult things to children and commuting to the city from Nassau County.


Restaurant: Almond

What does it say: If it's Friday night and he's taking you to Almond, he's gay! If you already knew he was gay... then just enjoy he probably knows a lot of people.



Underlying issues: If it's Saturday, I'm not quite sure what to do but I think you've done ok. If it's Friday and your on a hetero date... avoid topics like musicals, football and closets. It will only make you both uncomfortable.

My last note today and probably the most obvious!

Restaurant: Cyril's

What does it say: People go to Cyril's for one reason to drink. Odds are your date just got out of rehab or is probably fresh from the daily Montauk AA meeting. I would also be suspect of everyone your date just said hello to, odds are they're tomorrow's date! If you drove separately (hopefully you did) pretend to get a text message and leave immediately to deal with a "personal issue."

Underlying issues: Avoid such topics as binge drinking, rehab, STD's, sobriety or monogamy!


If today's blog offends anyone.. I apologize, it was written with a strong sense of humor. But remember, there's a little bit of truth in every jest!