Holiday Hangover ... How to make the Hamptons Happy... Again!

I'm back after the holiday week/weekend.  It wasn't that I was lying back and taking it easy.   In fact, it continues to be for me along with most real estate agents, one of the busiest seasons in recent memory.    So, I took a breather from the blog and immersed myself in the summer of 2013.

While every year people seem to say the traffic and the crowds are worse than the year before, this year they're right.  It's a war out there!   But there is a chance for peace in the Hamptons and I'm making my attempt for a Nobel Peace Prize for my fine work right here with Hamptons Chatter.     So how can we turn our little piece of heaven into a shangri-la?  

First of all, you avoid the places that make your blood pressure boil.   Last year, I had one of my most successful blogs ever talking about the most unfriendly places in the Hamptons (Hamptons Hostility 7/13/12).    But this year,  I've learned to be more of a "glass is half full" kind of guy.  I'm going to offer solutions for the problems of the east end.   So here they are in no particular order, my "pointers" for making a happier Hamptons.

Terror awaits the hungry diner at Topping Rose!

1)   Improve the Service !   -  Last Monday, I went to the Topping Rose in Bridgehampton.  In case you weren't aware, this is celebrity chef Tom Colicchio's new restaurant at the spa and Inn of the same name.   While the food was actually dynamite the service made me want to go postal.   Now, I don't mind mediocre service when I'm at a.... say... Friendly's or TGIFriday's.     But when you're paying top dollar for the food, you shouldn't have to wait 50 minutes after your reservation time just to get seated and another 10 minutes to get water! UGH!   I'm sorry throwing a skimpy cheese plate on the house doesn't compensate for getting dinner at 10:40pm on a 9pm reservation.      Guys, people are spending the bucks on the food and the booze so hire the extra bus person and the extra cook.  Also, it's not a bad idea to admit you screwed up and not blame it on the other patrons!   Other than the Topping Rose, this is also good suggestion for Serafina (updated... had dinner there tonight... AWFUL service and no air-conditioning) and The Living Room.       By the way, I know none of you are going to listen to me so go try it yourself!

The devil is in the machinery!

2) Get Rid of Those Auto Check Outs and HIRE SOME PEOPLE! -  Here's my ancient Chinese secret, if you need more Calgon on the weekend, wait.    Besides the way the lines move at the K-Mart, CVS and Walbaum's stores in South and East Hampton it's quicker to order it from Amazon!    I know, I keep harping about this but at least hire some extra check out people.   Those scanners don't work!!!    Besides, there are some people who these things just scare the bejeezus out of.  It's the equivalent to them of appearing on stage!  They sweat!  They panic!   They freeze... then they freeze the machines!    It's like Lucy in the chocolate factory.   I like my machines in movies...  example "The Terminator 2".. not when I buy my milk.

3) Get Ample Parking and Force  Commuting! -  As anyone who's been to Soul Cycle, Fly-Wheel or any of the gyms out here knows, half the work out is finding a parking space.   I've actually heard reports of fist fight in one particular spin studio!!!  Blood is not a good color on Lululemon!   So here is my idea... ride your bikes to spin class people!!! DUH!   You don't have to do two classes this way and

It's my space and class is starting!!!

you're actually helping to save the planet (watch that Al Gore movie it will explain)!    On top of that gym/spin studio owners could help themselves by offering incentives to patrons that commute!   How about free water for everyone who comes in a car of two or more.  I know free water... it still cracks me up I'm willing to pay $2.50 for water!   My grandmother is rolling her eyes in her grave every time I do it!   But back to the topic... how about at least a free stain remover for those who have blood stains from the fights in the parking lot!!?  I know, it's a brilliant idea!    OK, there it is my treatise on how to make the Hamptons happy again!  Have a great summer everybody!!!