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Friday, December 28, 2012

2012 Hamptons... a year in P.U.review .... The worst of the worst!


Horatio:
Have after. To what issue will this come?

Marcellus:
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
Well Shakespeare could have been writing about the Hamptons in the year 2012.   Luckily there was no Mayan Apocalypse - much to the disappointment of the  History Channel - so it really wasn't all that bad - but there were a few flops and misfortunate incidents that are worth mentioning.    Here they are in no particular order;
Hurricane Sandy, trouble in the end.
The LIPA response to Hurricane Sandy - Sure it was fun for the first night but when it came time to empty my refrigerator the fun had worn off... and I don't think candlelight is much fun anymore after using it non-stop for two weeks.  Listen we know it was tough but at least give us some idea of when you think we'll be back on the grid.  This way we make decisions as to where and how we are going to eat, live and watch Revenge on Netflix! 

They look so friendly!
The Mitt Romney Fundraiser - So Ron Perleman decided to throw a little party for his friends and low and behold it turned into mass chaos with rumors of cheap booze, man on man kissing, water boarding and worst of all no Chex Mix! In case you don't remember what happened, click here for a little recap. Now, I happen to have some inside scoop on the whole situation. Apparently it was all some big misunderstanding. The said protesters/crashers were actually just hoping to borrow some Grey Poupon. How embarrassing! I guess uber-rich people aren't really as friendly as they appear in mustard commercials.

The Whole Foods Pop Up Store - What happens everyone waits with baited breathe for arguably one of the best stores around to open up in the Hamptons. Well if it was the Whole foods in Wainscott they will stay away in droves. Now, how did that happen!?!? Well, If you want my two cents... and apparently you do... I can sum it up in two words. SOVIET SUPERMARKET... there was nothing on the shelves and what little there was had a hefty price tag. Now, I love Whole Foods in the city but I'm not going to make a special trip to Wainscott just to buy their store brand of Cheerios! Hello! WHOLE FOODS, IF YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT... DO IT RIGHT! By the way, we love you, please come back and try again!?


Curbed Hamptons
The Yummylicious sign - sure the frozen treats may be yummy but the sign itself made the town of Sag Harbor look scummy!   Imagine if the makers of Hello Kitty decided to open up a brothel in the middle of the village.   Think about it!   You get the picture!  A few years ago they held fundraisers to preserve the Sag Harbor Cinema sign, now they need a fundraiser to buy Yummylicious a new sign.  Come to think of it, the name of that place bothers me too!

ATT Hamptons Cell Service -  NO!  I did not hang up on you I was just driving through Sagaponack.... or at my house.... or on the beach.... or in the Northwest woods.... or on Noyac Road... or... oh enough.    I don't know if Verizon is any better but I'm getting tired of paying for an I phone that I primarily use as an Ipod!   But you know the good thing is I called ATT and they're getting back to me on why I have such lousy reception.  Apparently it's just me.    I just hope they don't call me back on my cell phone!!


Stay tuned.... the best of 2012 next week!  I'll probably even talk about where the market is going for real estate!

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